1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,000 2 00:01:45,758 --> 00:01:46,858 FisheR, pick up. 3 00:01:46,958 --> 00:01:49,806 Fisher, it's me Fisher, pick up. 4 00:01:50,763 --> 00:01:53,363 I'm late, come on, come on. I need to bounce some ideas off you. 5 00:01:53,517 --> 00:01:55,884 Mine are all boring, done it, been there. 6 00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:57,328 Hey, Ike! 7 00:01:57,428 --> 00:01:59,796 When are you guys gonna stop waking me up every morning? 8 00:01:59,940 --> 00:02:02,627 When your column stops putting me to sleep. 9 00:02:02,727 --> 00:02:04,321 - Funny, funny. - Yo, Jonah! 10 00:02:05,238 --> 00:02:07,487 Fisher, come on! Are you really not there? 11 00:02:07,587 --> 00:02:09,466 All right, cool. I'll talk to you later. 12 00:02:09,566 --> 00:02:12,046 Excuse me. I'm thinking of doing an article about limousines. 13 00:02:12,537 --> 00:02:14,814 What do you think about people who've never been in one? 14 00:02:14,914 --> 00:02:16,528 I don't know people like that. 15 00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:20,383 I need someone to bounce some ideas off of and get the juices flowing. 16 00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:24,419 I got one hour, 27 minutes, 52 seconds. 17 00:02:24,592 --> 00:02:26,921 Hey, Ike! When are you gonna put me in a column? 18 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,316 - When your T-shirts stop shrinking. - Shrinks? 19 00:02:29,598 --> 00:02:31,998 - Funny. He's kidding. He's just kidding. - Oh, forget it. 20 00:02:32,601 --> 00:02:35,441 - Here, give me Give me No way. 21 00:02:35,604 --> 00:02:38,044 Folks, I got nice shirts here. Look! 22 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,340 "I love everybody. You're next". 23 00:02:57,045 --> 00:02:59,325 So, what's in store for us in tomorrow's column? 24 00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:02,345 I don't know yet. 25 00:03:02,926 --> 00:03:05,966 I'm, uh, kind of a last-minute man. 26 00:03:06,805 --> 00:03:09,605 You know, till an hour or two before deadline, I don't get any ideas. 27 00:03:11,936 --> 00:03:14,374 So, you get your ideas for your column from life. 28 00:03:14,474 --> 00:03:16,839 Start up a conversation with a woman in a bar. 29 00:03:16,939 --> 00:03:19,340 Attack her dart playing and try to get a rise out of her... 30 00:03:20,153 --> 00:03:22,673 while you contemplate whether or not she's worth hitting on. 31 00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:25,310 No, I can't hit on you till I get an idea. 32 00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:27,584 Wh- That's flattering. 33 00:03:27,684 --> 00:03:29,980 No, you don't understand. 34 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,400 I understand. See, my not responding to you baiting me... 35 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:37,060 will inspire one of those bitter diatribes you like to write about women. 36 00:03:37,255 --> 00:03:39,862 I don't write bitter diatribes about women. 37 00:03:39,962 --> 00:03:42,233 - Oh-ho. - Very often. I could. 38 00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:45,229 Only when the ideas aren't flowing, huh? 39 00:03:45,389 --> 00:03:48,029 It's so nice to meet you, one-minute man. 40 00:03:48,559 --> 00:03:51,086 It's last-minute man. 41 00:03:51,186 --> 00:03:52,717 Whatever. 42 00:03:53,064 --> 00:03:56,098 Want to hear something funny? For a good-looking guy, you strike out a lot. 43 00:03:56,198 --> 00:03:57,709 Have you noticed that? 44 00:03:59,196 --> 00:04:01,883 - I bet it's your ex-wife. - Excuse me. 45 00:04:01,983 --> 00:04:04,137 I've seen much worse. 46 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,095 No, Ike's not here. 47 00:04:07,195 --> 00:04:09,462 I say, I've seen much worse. 48 00:04:09,562 --> 00:04:11,941 - I'll tell him when he comes in. - Excuse me? 49 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,104 The brush-off. 50 00:04:15,204 --> 00:04:17,652 I've witnessed far more... 51 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,767 treacherous and nefarious exits than that. 52 00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:24,413 At least, she castigated you in private. 53 00:04:25,392 --> 00:04:27,992 Not as private as I thought. Kevin, you got some napkins there? 54 00:04:29,062 --> 00:04:31,462 - Wiping or writing? - I'll let you know. 55 00:04:32,066 --> 00:04:34,786 They love you. They hate you. 56 00:04:35,027 --> 00:04:37,387 They're hot. They're cold. They're high. 57 00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:39,599 They're up. They're down. 58 00:04:40,283 --> 00:04:43,323 This is fun making a list with you, but I do have a column to write. 59 00:04:43,495 --> 00:04:44,495 Ike. 60 00:04:44,594 --> 00:04:48,281 But you have yet to find a really superb idea. 61 00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:52,141 There's a girl from my hometown that you could write about. 62 00:04:52,296 --> 00:04:54,355 Excuse me, but we don't need any ideas. 63 00:04:54,455 --> 00:04:57,455 She likes to dump grooms at the altar. They call her the "Runaway Bride. " 64 00:04:59,304 --> 00:05:01,991 She's performed the travesty seven or eight times. 65 00:05:02,091 --> 00:05:04,478 Turns around, runs like hell. Bolts. Adios. 66 00:05:05,394 --> 00:05:07,834 Plows down the aisle, knocking old ladies out of her way... 67 00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:09,740 like the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. 68 00:05:10,858 --> 00:05:13,618 And guess what! She's got the next victim all lined up. 69 00:05:13,778 --> 00:05:16,218 She's turning another body on the spit. 70 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,840 Okay, Italics, here we go. 71 00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:26,213 Today is a day of profound introspection. 72 00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:28,897 I have been accused of using this column... 73 00:05:29,504 --> 00:05:32,184 to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex. 74 00:05:33,591 --> 00:05:36,031 This uncomfortable accusation... 75 00:05:36,928 --> 00:05:39,488 has plunged me into at least 15 minutes of serious reflection, 76 00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:42,867 from which I have emerged... 77 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,527 with the conclusion that, yes, I traffic in female stereotypes. 78 00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:54,048 "But how can one blame me when every time I step out my front door, 79 00:05:54,239 --> 00:05:56,919 "I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well. 80 00:05:58,494 --> 00:06:00,974 "The mother, the virgin, the whore, the crone. 81 00:06:01,998 --> 00:06:04,438 "They're elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs, 82 00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:07,401 and overwhelming you with perfume in elevators. " 83 00:06:07,545 --> 00:06:09,730 "But perhaps in fairness to the fairer sex, 84 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:13,718 I do need to broaden my horizon and add some new goddesses to the pantheon. " 85 00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:16,527 "I would like to nominate for deity the cheerleader, the coed... 86 00:06:18,599 --> 00:06:21,319 and the man-eater, the last of which concerns me most today. " 87 00:06:22,145 --> 00:06:24,625 "In ancient Greece, this fearsome female was known as Erinys, 88 00:06:25,106 --> 00:06:26,993 "the devouring death goddess. 89 00:06:27,093 --> 00:06:28,125 "In India, she is Kali, 90 00:06:28,225 --> 00:06:30,626 "who likes to devour her boyfriend Shiva's entrails... 91 00:06:30,726 --> 00:06:33,126 "while her yoni devours his dot, dot, dot... never mind. 92 00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:36,673 In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater is called Ragma. " 93 00:06:38,871 --> 00:06:41,311 You notice these are all countries without cable. 94 00:06:42,876 --> 00:06:44,935 "And in Hale, Maryland, 95 00:06:45,035 --> 00:06:47,271 "where she helps run the family hardware store, 96 00:06:47,371 --> 00:06:51,299 she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter, a. k.a. the Runaway Bride. " 97 00:06:51,927 --> 00:06:54,327 "What is unusual about Miss Carpenter... 98 00:06:54,764 --> 00:06:58,924 is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them. " 99 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:02,338 One antique hot water handle with the "hot" still on it. 100 00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:06,626 Guaranteed to fit any American standard cast iron tub... 101 00:07:07,069 --> 00:07:11,509 with a four-inch center mount made between 1924 and 1938. 102 00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,759 In other words, Mr. Paxton. 103 00:07:13,859 --> 00:07:16,514 I think you are out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton. 104 00:07:16,614 --> 00:07:17,614 Hallelujah! 105 00:07:17,713 --> 00:07:19,630 I'll see you later. I'll put it on your charge. 106 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,649 There's a possibility she hasn't seen this yet. 107 00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:26,010 Maybe she just hasn't picked up a paper. Know what I mean? 108 00:07:27,759 --> 00:07:29,943 - Or not. - Maggie? 109 00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:32,603 Earl, you don't need an air conditioner. You need an attic fan. 110 00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:35,534 There's more in the back. Hey. 111 00:07:40,064 --> 00:07:41,064 What? 112 00:07:41,639 --> 00:07:43,727 So, Mag, you've seen this, huh? 113 00:07:44,193 --> 00:07:46,953 Yes, I've seen it. 114 00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:48,808 And it is the rudest, 115 00:07:49,741 --> 00:07:51,794 most offensive... 116 00:07:51,894 --> 00:07:54,228 joke anyone has ever played on me! 117 00:07:55,038 --> 00:07:57,638 You guys, how long did this take you? Where did you get it done? 118 00:07:58,125 --> 00:08:00,685 You're both creeps, by the way. I should "disinvite" you. 119 00:08:00,836 --> 00:08:04,596 Maggie, you told us no bachelorette jokes, so we didn't- 120 00:08:12,182 --> 00:08:14,182 Holy moly. 121 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:19,289 - Bag. Bag! - She's going. She's gonna go! 122 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,960 Here's the bag. Breathe! 123 00:08:44,217 --> 00:08:46,857 On the local front, our town of Hale, Maryland, 124 00:08:47,012 --> 00:08:49,532 is still buzzing about the less-than-flattering article... 125 00:08:49,682 --> 00:08:52,162 about their native daughter, Maggie Carpenter. 126 00:08:52,351 --> 00:08:54,286 Her bridal exploits were taken to task... 127 00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:56,874 by New York columnist Ike Graham in USA Today. 128 00:08:57,023 --> 00:08:59,503 Mr. Graham called her- 129 00:09:00,152 --> 00:09:02,632 Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks. 130 00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:06,826 Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly... 131 00:09:06,992 --> 00:09:09,672 on hog calling and tractor maintenance rather than reading. 132 00:09:11,247 --> 00:09:14,087 Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? 133 00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:21,211 I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking up slanderous statements... 134 00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:23,025 about how I dump men for kicks... 135 00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,973 to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. 136 00:09:26,138 --> 00:09:29,018 Which is understandable, because with a man-eater like me on the loose, 137 00:09:29,517 --> 00:09:31,357 who has time to check facts? 138 00:09:31,478 --> 00:09:34,125 - Hey, Frances, lunch today? - No, I'm going to the bank. 139 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:36,338 - Sure? - Sorry, Ike. 140 00:09:36,438 --> 00:09:38,549 - All right. Hey. - Hey. 141 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,132 I'm going to put in a good word for you. 142 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,714 Don't mention my name. 143 00:09:42,814 --> 00:09:45,069 That's why I was surprised to find... 144 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,551 Mr. Graham's editor was a woman. 145 00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:49,691 Call me a sentimental fool, but I hoped we man-eaters could stick together. 146 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:53,057 "Anyway, I'm just dropping you big-city folk this little note... 147 00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:55,869 "to say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice... 148 00:09:55,969 --> 00:09:57,909 "that would satisfy my current appetite: 149 00:09:58,009 --> 00:10:00,281 "Ike Graham's column on a platter. 150 00:10:00,381 --> 00:10:02,319 "Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. 151 00:10:02,419 --> 00:10:05,907 "I have enclosed a list of the gross factual misrepresentations in your article. 152 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,880 There are fifteen. " 153 00:10:09,937 --> 00:10:11,862 Funny. I like her. 154 00:10:11,962 --> 00:10:13,498 She's got spunk. 155 00:10:13,598 --> 00:10:17,886 Ike, look. She sent us this list. Our lawyers say it's actionable. 156 00:10:19,906 --> 00:10:22,299 I left you four messages. You don't return my calls. 157 00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:25,527 I never returned your calls. Even when we were married I didn't- 158 00:10:25,704 --> 00:10:28,464 - What's Fisher doing here? - Ellie asked me to offer moral support. 159 00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:32,863 Since when does Ellie need moral support? 160 00:10:33,754 --> 00:10:35,914 It's for you, Ike. 161 00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:40,694 What? What? 162 00:10:40,794 --> 00:10:42,863 Journalism lesson number one: 163 00:10:42,963 --> 00:10:45,611 If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. 164 00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:48,048 Lesson number two: Never work for your former spouse. 165 00:10:49,522 --> 00:10:52,522 That has nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up, and you know it! 166 00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:56,339 I did not cook anything up. I had a source. 167 00:10:56,439 --> 00:10:58,810 Someone reliable? Some boozehound in a bar?. 168 00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:00,049 In vino veritas. 169 00:11:00,149 --> 00:11:03,229 Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving. 170 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,140 Besides, I am a columnist. 171 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,434 This is what columnists are supposed to do. 172 00:11:09,534 --> 00:11:12,174 It's what you like. We push, and we stretch, we go out on a limb. 173 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,107 That's what makes me good! 174 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:17,135 No, that's what makes you unemployed. 175 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,628 All right, let's consider that, that my wrist has been slapped. 176 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,210 There. Slap it. Go ahead, just- 177 00:11:27,647 --> 00:11:30,088 Slap my wrist. That's done. 178 00:11:30,188 --> 00:11:33,108 Just give me a call when you feel that I've served my time, and move on. 179 00:11:38,617 --> 00:11:41,337 This is permanent, Ike. 180 00:11:42,622 --> 00:11:45,662 If you go quietly, I'll get you severance pay. 181 00:11:55,678 --> 00:11:57,638 I'm sorry, Ike. 182 00:12:21,539 --> 00:12:24,339 - Bob? Honey? - In the kitchen. 183 00:12:24,835 --> 00:12:27,275 Honey, she canned him! Honey? 184 00:12:27,755 --> 00:12:30,275 Bob, she canned him! 185 00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:33,102 - Yea! What are you talking about? - Listen, it's in the paper. 186 00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:35,070 - Try this on first. - Okay. 187 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,050 I wanna read it to you, so come over this way. 188 00:12:37,849 --> 00:12:39,950 Ready? "Dear Maggie Carpenter: 189 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,618 I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter. " 190 00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:46,685 Here it is. " Ike Graham's column will no longer be appearing in this paper. 191 00:12:48,486 --> 00:12:50,926 Best of luck in your upcoming marriage. " 192 00:12:51,072 --> 00:12:54,032 Okay, this is the weight of the pack you'll be carrying in the Himalayas. 193 00:12:54,451 --> 00:12:57,411 - You let me know if it's too heavy. - Okay. 194 00:12:58,163 --> 00:13:00,723 A little... yeah. Yeah, a little heavy. baby. 195 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,403 Hi, it's me. Leave a message after the beep. 196 00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:16,071 If you want to leave a fax, buy me a fax machine. 197 00:13:17,643 --> 00:13:18,951 Ike, Fisher. 198 00:13:19,051 --> 00:13:22,579 Get up. I can turn this Runaway Bride story around. 199 00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:26,029 I'm doing a photo spread for G.Q. today by the conveyor belt. 200 00:13:26,653 --> 00:13:29,333 Meet me. I'll save your tush. 201 00:13:29,906 --> 00:13:32,826 And since I do freelance stuff for G.Q. now, I have an idea. 202 00:13:32,993 --> 00:13:34,633 - What are you saying? - Vindication. 203 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,305 How would you like some? 204 00:13:37,405 --> 00:13:40,125 A chance to prove that although your story wasn't entirely factual, 205 00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:42,708 your theory was correct. 206 00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:46,673 - The real story on Miss Carpenter. - All the gory details. 207 00:13:47,384 --> 00:13:49,401 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 208 00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:52,709 And if she runs again, you got a cover story. 209 00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:57,689 Here you go. Right upstairs to the left. 210 00:14:57,789 --> 00:14:59,528 Thanks. How late's the restaurant open? 211 00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:03,212 - 8:30 every night. - That late, huh? 212 00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:15,496 Cindy, can you eighty-six Sprout? 213 00:15:15,596 --> 00:15:18,316 He's licking up all the petroleum distillates I'm trying to put in. 214 00:15:18,609 --> 00:15:20,449 Oh, sorry. She's an obedience school dropout. 215 00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:25,894 Have a seat. 216 00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:36,330 Thank you. We'll see you, ladies and gentlemen, in the hotel on the weekend. 217 00:15:46,848 --> 00:15:49,488 You're a goddess. You're a goddess! 218 00:15:50,394 --> 00:15:53,314 Shazam! I think I'm in Mayberry. 219 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,360 I didn't even have to change a gasket. just put in new hydraulic fluid. 220 00:15:56,525 --> 00:15:59,205 Stop it. When you talk like that, it turns me on and frightens me. 221 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,400 Oh, you turn a girl's head. 222 00:16:04,326 --> 00:16:06,726 Excuse me. Hello? 223 00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:10,249 Excuse me, could help- I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter. 224 00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:13,216 There was a note on the door of the hardware store across the street. 225 00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:16,396 - Are you a reporter?. - What? 226 00:16:16,496 --> 00:16:18,482 It's just been our experience that... 227 00:16:18,582 --> 00:16:21,350 anyone who comes in here with tassels on his loafers... 228 00:16:21,845 --> 00:16:25,205 is a big-city reporter wanting to do an interview with Maggie. 229 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,159 About her upcoming wedding and all. 230 00:16:28,259 --> 00:16:30,699 Actually about her getting that asshole from New York fired. 231 00:16:34,442 --> 00:16:38,042 I am just such a reporter. And who are you? 232 00:16:38,905 --> 00:16:41,705 Peggy Flemming. Not the ice skater. 233 00:16:42,951 --> 00:16:44,552 Come in, come in. 234 00:16:44,652 --> 00:16:47,055 Who are these lovely ladies? 235 00:16:47,155 --> 00:16:49,403 Hi. I'm Cindy. Maggie's unmarried cousin. 236 00:16:50,335 --> 00:16:52,815 Mrs. Pressman. No relation. Oh, sorry. 237 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,023 And you are? 238 00:16:56,123 --> 00:16:58,329 Looking... for Maggie. 239 00:16:58,429 --> 00:17:01,107 Maggie, someone to see you. 240 00:17:09,314 --> 00:17:13,714 I hope you've got a new angle because it's all pretty much been covered. 241 00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:16,384 Hold on. No one interviews Maggie in here without a haircut. 242 00:17:17,239 --> 00:17:18,479 Sorry, no. Just got one. 243 00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:20,970 Excuse me, sir, I have a fact for you. 244 00:17:22,411 --> 00:17:24,571 - This is an actual fact. - Yes, Mrs. Pressman? 245 00:17:26,541 --> 00:17:29,301 This is actually her fourth wedding, not her seventh like they said. 246 00:17:30,086 --> 00:17:32,772 I know. Tell me something. Do you think she's... 247 00:17:32,872 --> 00:17:35,400 - gonna make it all the way this time? - I don't know. 248 00:17:39,597 --> 00:17:42,397 She swallowed her gum. She does that. 249 00:17:44,102 --> 00:17:47,142 Mr. Schulian, he runs the newsstand. He's also our local bookie. 250 00:17:47,939 --> 00:17:50,339 He's given eight-to-one odds that she won't. 251 00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:51,567 Okay. 252 00:17:51,851 --> 00:17:54,219 Instead of a haircut, how 'bout a wash? 253 00:17:54,947 --> 00:17:57,147 Get all that city grit out of your hair. 254 00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,829 You'll answer my questions? 255 00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:00,977 Mm-hmm. 256 00:18:01,621 --> 00:18:04,261 Fine! You wash, I'll ask. 257 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,033 So, what do you want to know? 258 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,145 When is the big day? 259 00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:11,733 - A week from Sunday. - Let's just put this here like this... 260 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,817 ...because this aromatherapy can get a little strong. 261 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,462 The lavender, we don't want to put you to sleep. 262 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,057 You nervous? 263 00:18:20,156 --> 00:18:22,970 I've never been more certain of anything in my life. 264 00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:26,074 Except I've been having all kinds of weird dreams. 265 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,961 Mm-hmm. Would you like to tell me about 'em? 266 00:18:30,061 --> 00:18:31,175 Yeah, sure. 267 00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:35,237 - And another one... - Pete, I'll be right with ya. 268 00:18:35,337 --> 00:18:38,219 I go inside the church and everyone I know is there. 269 00:18:38,412 --> 00:18:40,852 The creepiest part is I look down at my dress, and it's red! 270 00:18:43,042 --> 00:18:46,082 I don't know what that means. Red is not my color. 271 00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,398 What do you think? 272 00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:52,506 - I think you'd look good in red. - No, no. 273 00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:57,427 She means about your hair. 274 00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:09,526 My jacket, please. 275 00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,626 Thank you. 276 00:19:12,949 --> 00:19:17,389 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I can get some shampoo? Strong shampoo? 277 00:19:17,621 --> 00:19:21,341 Doc's pharmacy. Third and Elm. Tell 'em Pete sent ya. 278 00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:23,435 You want my hat? 279 00:19:23,535 --> 00:19:26,103 No, no, I'm fine. You might need it. 280 00:19:34,848 --> 00:19:37,808 Mr. Graham, if you're looking for Elm Street, it's that way. 281 00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:41,413 Thank you. 282 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,708 If you came down here in the pursuit of happiness, you might as well go back... 283 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,460 because you can't make me feel bad. 284 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,808 I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm here for vindication. 285 00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:53,313 In my heart, I feel I'm right about you. 286 00:19:54,036 --> 00:19:55,036 Mmm. 287 00:19:56,006 --> 00:19:58,014 You got me fired, lady. 288 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:01,042 You destroyed my reputation, and you screwed up my hair. 289 00:20:02,754 --> 00:20:05,594 You chew up men, spit 'em out, and love it. 290 00:20:06,091 --> 00:20:08,771 You're gonna do the same thing to this poor schmuck number four... 291 00:20:08,886 --> 00:20:11,526 that you did to the previous three. 292 00:20:11,931 --> 00:20:14,115 You're gonna run again. 293 00:20:14,215 --> 00:20:16,103 And I'm not leaving until you do. 294 00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:21,270 I'd love to stay and chat, but I still have my job. 295 00:20:29,033 --> 00:20:31,134 Hey, kid, kid, kid, wait a minute. 296 00:20:31,234 --> 00:20:33,129 - Give you ten bucks for the hat. - Sure. 297 00:20:33,229 --> 00:20:35,511 That's right. 298 00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,070 Sheesh. 299 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,840 I'm telling you, that is a photo opportunity. 300 00:20:54,394 --> 00:20:57,874 When I only see one dog, I know I've had too much to drink. 301 00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:01,793 Hey, you'll never guess... 302 00:21:02,278 --> 00:21:04,678 who came crawling into town with his tail between his legs. 303 00:21:06,574 --> 00:21:07,574 Who? 304 00:21:08,608 --> 00:21:10,936 Hello, Maggie. 305 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,938 I just came over to apologize to your family. 306 00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:17,143 When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 307 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:19,312 I pushed a story. I made a mistake. 308 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:22,172 In other words, he's only human. And he brought us a bottle of wine. 309 00:21:25,303 --> 00:21:29,663 - Made me put my hat back on. - Yeah. It scared the hell outta Skipper. 310 00:21:31,518 --> 00:21:32,785 You've gotta be kidding me. 311 00:21:32,885 --> 00:21:35,613 No, no. You should've seen Skipper. He was like- 312 00:21:41,821 --> 00:21:44,541 It wasn't that... funny. 313 00:21:44,699 --> 00:21:46,634 Actually, it's been quite amusing. 314 00:21:46,734 --> 00:21:50,062 Walter, here, has been sharing his father of the bride wedding memories. 315 00:21:50,748 --> 00:21:52,974 You know what? 316 00:21:53,074 --> 00:21:55,762 I think I'll take this to the kitchen. 317 00:21:57,881 --> 00:22:00,841 I'll help you bring it in... to the kitchen. 318 00:22:01,009 --> 00:22:03,369 - Check on the crabs, Bob. - Okay. 319 00:22:03,512 --> 00:22:05,992 - Is he staying for dinner?. - I don't know. 320 00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:09,430 I hope they don't have a fight. You don't think they'd call it off, do you? 321 00:22:10,394 --> 00:22:12,794 Wedding cake freezes. This we know. 322 00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:17,079 - You know, your daughter is such- - Oh, I'm sorry. 323 00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:21,450 No, no, that's all right, Grandma. That, that's fine. 324 00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:22,757 She's such a, a lovely girl. 325 00:22:22,857 --> 00:22:25,385 Yeah. Well, like her mother. Look. 326 00:22:26,203 --> 00:22:27,683 May she rest in peace. 327 00:22:28,539 --> 00:22:31,219 We were all so proud of Maggie when she was in school. 328 00:22:31,376 --> 00:22:33,696 She won that American Legion scholarship to college. 329 00:22:34,838 --> 00:22:36,605 She studied industrial design. 330 00:22:36,705 --> 00:22:39,225 I can't see her leaving multiple grooms in the dust like that. 331 00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:43,321 Oh, yes, you can. She's got it all on tape. 332 00:22:45,850 --> 00:22:48,410 - Tape? - Yeah, they're all right there. 333 00:22:49,854 --> 00:22:51,079 You got tapes of the wedding? 334 00:22:51,179 --> 00:22:53,347 Lee, at the hotel, videos weddings. 335 00:22:53,984 --> 00:22:56,824 'Course Maggie didn't know she was gonna be running the 100-yard dash. 336 00:22:57,696 --> 00:23:00,336 - I gotta say, she makes real good time. - Bingo. 337 00:23:02,159 --> 00:23:04,039 Maggie may not be Hale's longest running joke, 338 00:23:04,662 --> 00:23:07,062 but she is certainly the fastest. 339 00:23:12,337 --> 00:23:15,777 Maggie's mom and I were only blessed with one child, 340 00:23:15,966 --> 00:23:17,817 not for a lack of trying. 341 00:23:17,917 --> 00:23:20,685 This is good, Dad. Don't leave anything out. 342 00:23:20,847 --> 00:23:23,127 I consider it a bonus... 343 00:23:25,644 --> 00:23:29,124 that I'm actually able to plan and pay for so many weddings. 344 00:23:29,314 --> 00:23:31,714 Not this one. This one's on me. 345 00:23:32,902 --> 00:23:34,836 Oh! That's fair. 346 00:23:34,936 --> 00:23:37,696 I don't do it on purpose, and I have no intention of doing it again. 347 00:23:39,617 --> 00:23:42,257 That's right, Maggie. Just keep your eye on the ball. 348 00:23:43,538 --> 00:23:46,138 Sports psychology. 349 00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:50,605 Bob is the head of the P.E. department at the high school. 350 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:55,230 And he coaches the football team. And he's climbed Everest. 351 00:23:57,595 --> 00:24:00,355 - Everest? Is it true? - Twice. 352 00:24:00,515 --> 00:24:02,324 Without oxygen. 353 00:24:02,424 --> 00:24:05,352 - My girl, she likes to brag about me. - I do. 354 00:24:06,397 --> 00:24:09,117 Maggie's training for our wedding night. 355 00:24:09,859 --> 00:24:12,466 I'm taking her trekking on Annapurna for our honeymoon. 356 00:24:12,566 --> 00:24:14,716 - Oh, how romantic! - We think so. 357 00:24:15,448 --> 00:24:18,088 Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed with two Sherpas and a yak. 358 00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,727 Hey, Ike, how's it going? 359 00:24:27,827 --> 00:24:30,275 You won't believe what I'm looking at here. I got a video... 360 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,193 of all three train wrecks. 361 00:24:34,293 --> 00:24:36,621 Here's my bride, who's my pride. 362 00:24:37,931 --> 00:24:40,366 I'll never hide when she's by my side. 363 00:24:40,466 --> 00:24:42,346 This is for you, Maggie, my "Sugar Magnolia. " 364 00:24:43,896 --> 00:24:46,416 You want the truth? You want the facts? I got 'em. 365 00:24:52,781 --> 00:24:55,039 I'll send you a copy of the notes. 366 00:24:55,139 --> 00:24:57,036 Good weekend reading for you. 367 00:24:57,136 --> 00:24:59,022 Love to Ellie. Okay, bye. 368 00:25:33,492 --> 00:25:35,892 Okay, preacher man, let's go! 369 00:25:37,038 --> 00:25:38,838 - Maggie, where're you going? - Sam! 370 00:25:39,582 --> 00:25:42,342 - Sam. Get back on the bike. - Okay. How was the wedding? 371 00:25:43,128 --> 00:25:46,088 Shorter than we planned. Just go. 372 00:25:46,924 --> 00:25:49,564 Okay. Peace, baby. 373 00:26:36,687 --> 00:26:38,967 - Where's she going? - Look, she's leaving. 374 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:42,092 - She forgot her purse. - No, she didn't forget her purse. 375 00:26:44,946 --> 00:26:47,386 Go after her! Do something! 376 00:26:51,161 --> 00:26:53,321 I don't believe this. 377 00:27:14,937 --> 00:27:18,497 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today- 378 00:27:20,234 --> 00:27:24,674 Could we hold the horse, please? What's wrong with the horse? 379 00:27:24,906 --> 00:27:28,226 The horse seems more jittery than the bride. 380 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,374 I like the white tuxedo. 381 00:27:57,474 --> 00:27:59,877 Yeah, but he's no good 'cause he's too blond. 382 00:27:59,977 --> 00:28:02,377 All right. Then we just go with something very traditional. 383 00:28:02,823 --> 00:28:05,183 He's handsome. Maybe a little too dark for Bob. 384 00:28:07,286 --> 00:28:09,886 Yeah, but he's got the "Bobster's" eyes. 385 00:28:10,373 --> 00:28:13,693 No, no, no, no. The Bobster's eyes are closer set. Yeah. 386 00:28:13,877 --> 00:28:16,237 - Hello! Hi. - Hi. 387 00:28:16,588 --> 00:28:19,028 - Could I have two cups of coffee? And- - Yes. 388 00:28:19,508 --> 00:28:20,868 Mmm. What is that wonderful smell? 389 00:28:22,052 --> 00:28:23,892 Oh, the cinnamon rolls! 390 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,720 - Could I have two of those? Thank you. - Yeah, sure. 391 00:28:28,393 --> 00:28:30,920 Okay. Uh, Maggie, I think this makes the best you. 392 00:28:31,020 --> 00:28:32,020 Okay. 393 00:28:32,397 --> 00:28:35,077 Oh, let's see. Look at that. 394 00:28:37,403 --> 00:28:39,295 Excuse me. 395 00:28:39,395 --> 00:28:41,083 Oh, look at that. 396 00:28:43,534 --> 00:28:45,894 Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! 397 00:28:45,994 --> 00:28:49,554 Ow, ow, ow! Help me! Help me! 398 00:28:51,626 --> 00:28:53,786 Yep, that'd be her. 399 00:28:55,297 --> 00:28:57,624 You must be that Mr. Graham fella. 400 00:28:57,724 --> 00:29:00,061 Yes, I am! And you are? 401 00:29:00,219 --> 00:29:02,579 - I'm Betty Trout. - Hi, Betty! 402 00:29:03,139 --> 00:29:05,099 Okay, I guess you'll be the one making the cake. 403 00:29:05,976 --> 00:29:07,536 Yes I am. Sure. 404 00:29:08,437 --> 00:29:11,957 I'm also told that you will be throwing- 405 00:29:12,149 --> 00:29:14,789 I'm throwing the luau for Maggie. 406 00:29:14,944 --> 00:29:16,878 Pre-wedding luau! 407 00:29:16,978 --> 00:29:19,273 If you're still in town, you should stop by. 408 00:29:19,373 --> 00:29:21,359 No, no, he doesn't want to come. 409 00:29:21,459 --> 00:29:23,597 I'd love to come. 410 00:29:23,828 --> 00:29:25,351 I will be there. Thank you. 411 00:29:25,451 --> 00:29:29,334 Is that what you're going to do now? Follow me around everywhere I go? 412 00:29:30,252 --> 00:29:31,252 No. 413 00:29:32,286 --> 00:29:34,654 I'll be back, Betty. 414 00:29:34,841 --> 00:29:37,121 Bye, Mr. Graham. 415 00:29:37,385 --> 00:29:39,585 - He's not a nice person. - Well, I know. 416 00:29:40,055 --> 00:29:42,615 That's my pick. The eyes are perfect. 417 00:29:44,852 --> 00:29:47,452 We always win. We never fail. 418 00:29:47,897 --> 00:29:50,417 We're the Comets, so go to Hale! Let's go, Comets. 419 00:29:53,903 --> 00:29:56,303 Let's go, Comets. Let's go. 420 00:29:56,656 --> 00:29:58,976 - Hi, Miss Carpenter. - Hey, Kendall. 421 00:30:00,452 --> 00:30:04,692 Maggie, don't marry Coach. Marry me. I love you. 422 00:30:05,291 --> 00:30:08,011 You're jailbait, Dennis. Go away. Go away. Run your laps. Go, go! 423 00:30:10,672 --> 00:30:12,952 Drive, drive, drive! From the hips! 424 00:30:14,509 --> 00:30:16,669 Keep it low now, keep it low! 425 00:30:17,554 --> 00:30:20,314 Good job, gentlemen! All right, special teams. 426 00:30:20,474 --> 00:30:21,834 Special teams. 427 00:30:22,059 --> 00:30:25,059 - Hey, honey, how are you? - Good. 428 00:30:26,147 --> 00:30:28,331 What is he up to now? 429 00:30:28,431 --> 00:30:30,151 Ike just dropped by to check out the team. 430 00:30:31,528 --> 00:30:33,375 And to talk about you! 431 00:30:33,475 --> 00:30:34,779 - Ahh! - Yes! 432 00:30:34,879 --> 00:30:37,112 You aren't making friends with this man, are you? 433 00:30:37,212 --> 00:30:39,387 I'm just bragging about how good you are. 434 00:30:40,913 --> 00:30:43,473 And how I'm the luckiest man alive. 435 00:30:45,501 --> 00:30:47,101 Sweetie. 436 00:30:48,296 --> 00:30:50,776 Well, I better be moving. 437 00:30:50,924 --> 00:30:53,444 Got a lot of work to do today. 438 00:30:53,594 --> 00:30:56,028 - See you two lovebirds later. - See you at the wedding. 439 00:30:56,128 --> 00:30:58,728 - Yeah. Thanks for the jacket. - You invited him to the wedding? 440 00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:02,245 Go, go, Comets! Let's go! 441 00:31:03,855 --> 00:31:06,255 Don't you realize he's writing another article about me? 442 00:31:06,399 --> 00:31:07,399 Sure. 443 00:31:07,498 --> 00:31:10,416 But you're not runnin'. Come on. Give me some of that homemade sunshine. 444 00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:16,500 Boys, take my princess for a ride on her chariot. 445 00:31:17,704 --> 00:31:19,104 Oh, my- 446 00:31:25,754 --> 00:31:28,210 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 447 00:31:28,310 --> 00:31:30,733 My last confession was- Well, anyway. 448 00:31:32,553 --> 00:31:35,393 I have sort of a technical question. 449 00:31:35,556 --> 00:31:38,516 I've been having bad thoughts. 450 00:31:38,685 --> 00:31:41,285 Really bad thoughts. 451 00:31:41,521 --> 00:31:43,201 - Of an impure nature? - No, no. 452 00:31:45,234 --> 00:31:50,154 I want to destroy this man's life, career, everything. I want revenge! 453 00:31:50,782 --> 00:31:53,222 Now, on the sin scale, how bad is that? 454 00:31:53,910 --> 00:31:55,590 Can I... "Hail, Mary" my way out of that? 455 00:31:57,414 --> 00:31:59,974 - My child, any sin in one's heart is a- - The name is Maggie. 456 00:32:00,959 --> 00:32:03,755 It was this side of ten years ago you had your tongue down my throat. 457 00:32:03,855 --> 00:32:06,421 So don't "my child" me, Brian, okay? It annoys me. 458 00:32:06,521 --> 00:32:08,316 Maggie, don't get so upset. 459 00:32:08,416 --> 00:32:10,776 Hey, hey! Don't- Brian, talk to me. I need to talk to you. 460 00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:14,347 Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. 461 00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:16,915 You're not even Catholic so you really shouldn't be here. 462 00:32:17,015 --> 00:32:19,692 I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed out about this slimeball reporter. 463 00:32:21,482 --> 00:32:24,038 And I wanted to come and tell you that he might stop by here... 464 00:32:24,138 --> 00:32:26,169 and ask you all kinds of ridiculous questions. 465 00:32:26,269 --> 00:32:28,557 Well, he only actually asked me one ridiculous question. 466 00:32:28,823 --> 00:32:31,272 The rest weren't so bad. 467 00:32:31,372 --> 00:32:33,787 What? Oh, you talked to him? 468 00:32:34,538 --> 00:32:38,258 Did you tell him we dated before you were a priest? 469 00:32:38,459 --> 00:32:40,859 Of course. I think I only did you good. 470 00:32:42,714 --> 00:32:44,856 W- What exactly did he ask? 471 00:32:44,956 --> 00:32:47,604 - Am I too late, Father?. - No. No. 472 00:32:47,928 --> 00:32:49,848 - It won't take long. Just two venials. - Okay. 473 00:32:51,223 --> 00:32:52,703 Um, just respectful things. 474 00:32:53,684 --> 00:32:56,284 What kind of music did you like? What did we have in common? 475 00:32:56,562 --> 00:32:59,482 Did you ruin my life when you left me at the altar?. 476 00:33:01,442 --> 00:33:03,882 Uh, what did you say? 477 00:33:04,362 --> 00:33:06,839 I said, you know, how could I be angry... 478 00:33:06,939 --> 00:33:09,547 when this is clearly as God intended for it to be for me? 479 00:33:12,079 --> 00:33:14,399 Good one. Thanks. 480 00:33:14,999 --> 00:33:18,519 But actually, it's, it's really, really how I feel. 481 00:33:21,756 --> 00:33:23,643 Of course, God, yes. 482 00:33:23,743 --> 00:33:25,143 Not... God. 483 00:33:26,261 --> 00:33:27,261 Sorry. 484 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,363 I better go. The man is a lunatic. 485 00:33:29,463 --> 00:33:32,118 But I think I know exactly where he's going next. 486 00:33:32,218 --> 00:33:34,218 God bless. 487 00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:37,167 Oh! Purse. 488 00:33:38,024 --> 00:33:39,704 Forgot my purse. 489 00:33:40,986 --> 00:33:43,513 Hi, sorry. Purse. 490 00:33:43,613 --> 00:33:45,289 Good luck. 491 00:33:45,491 --> 00:33:48,291 What was the one ridiculous question that he asked? 492 00:33:48,452 --> 00:33:51,292 He wanted to know how you liked your eggs. 493 00:33:51,456 --> 00:33:52,896 Oh, weird. 494 00:33:53,708 --> 00:33:55,938 Like a person's gonna remember after all this time. 495 00:33:56,038 --> 00:33:58,234 Scrambled with salt, pepper and dill. Same as me. 496 00:34:03,761 --> 00:34:06,441 I'm sorry I hurt you, Brian. 497 00:34:07,724 --> 00:34:11,884 Maggie, I'm happy now... here. It's where I'm supposed to be. 498 00:34:12,103 --> 00:34:15,943 But... if you ever do decide to become a Catholic, will you do me this favor?. 499 00:34:17,109 --> 00:34:19,509 Confess to Father Patrick. 500 00:34:19,653 --> 00:34:21,653 Of course. 501 00:34:35,546 --> 00:34:38,066 - Gill? Lydia? - Mags! 502 00:34:38,340 --> 00:34:39,980 Hey, look, the tape. Remember?. 503 00:34:41,344 --> 00:34:43,487 Radio City Music Hall concert... 504 00:34:43,587 --> 00:34:46,515 when Jerry was on "Ripple," and I'm going like, "Dude, let me jam. " 505 00:34:46,683 --> 00:34:49,186 - Gill, listen- - I'll play it for you. 506 00:34:49,286 --> 00:34:51,801 - You remember, Maggie. You were there. - Can you focus on me? 507 00:34:51,901 --> 00:34:54,325 There's this reporter who's making my life a living hell. 508 00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:55,483 Okay. 509 00:34:55,892 --> 00:34:58,460 And whatever you do, 510 00:34:58,613 --> 00:35:02,453 do not show him that picture of me from the concert in San Francisco. 511 00:35:02,659 --> 00:35:03,979 Okay? Can you- 512 00:35:05,662 --> 00:35:08,502 - What is that? - Uh- Wait. San Francisco? 513 00:35:09,375 --> 00:35:11,768 But we went there a few times. There's a lot of pictures. 514 00:35:11,868 --> 00:35:14,396 Which picture? Because one time we had a flat tire. Remember?. 515 00:35:14,547 --> 00:35:15,907 Imagine. 516 00:35:16,633 --> 00:35:18,393 Maggie Carpenter topless in a public arena. 517 00:35:22,180 --> 00:35:24,580 Mmm. Oh, yeah. 518 00:35:25,184 --> 00:35:27,904 I see it was a very chilly evening. 519 00:35:34,485 --> 00:35:36,855 What's really interesting about this, though, 520 00:35:36,955 --> 00:35:39,291 is that you can't see that rose tattoo... 521 00:35:40,826 --> 00:35:43,026 on your back. 522 00:35:43,746 --> 00:35:46,306 Oh, yeah, Ike bet me 50 bucks that you don't still have it. 523 00:35:48,543 --> 00:35:51,383 I said, "You're on, man. Maggie loved that thing. " 524 00:35:51,546 --> 00:35:53,986 And, seriously, I mean, I could use 50 bucks. 525 00:35:55,634 --> 00:35:57,034 Maggie? 526 00:35:58,023 --> 00:35:59,023 Just- 527 00:36:03,017 --> 00:36:05,368 Look, I'm not gonna show you guys anything. 528 00:36:05,468 --> 00:36:08,068 I am a soon-to-be-married woman. So just give me the photograph! 529 00:36:09,941 --> 00:36:12,188 I would love to give you this. Believe me, I would. 530 00:36:12,288 --> 00:36:14,383 Just give us a quick gander at that rose, 531 00:36:15,656 --> 00:36:17,823 and I'll gladly turn it over to you. 532 00:36:17,923 --> 00:36:19,894 Fine. Fine. Okay, fine. 533 00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:24,519 Okay? All right? 534 00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:27,189 - Satisfied? - Completely. 535 00:36:27,335 --> 00:36:29,815 - Maggie, you got it removed? - Gill- 536 00:36:31,924 --> 00:36:35,244 Gill, I'll go you double or nothing it was a stick-on. 537 00:36:38,639 --> 00:36:40,039 Maggie? 538 00:36:43,228 --> 00:36:45,046 Gill, I am... 539 00:36:45,146 --> 00:36:46,930 really, really... 540 00:36:48,650 --> 00:36:50,960 afraid of needles. 541 00:36:51,060 --> 00:36:53,020 - But that doesn't make me a bad person. - Look. 542 00:36:53,697 --> 00:36:55,897 Look! Look! 543 00:36:56,784 --> 00:36:59,344 I think this man is heartbroken. 544 00:36:59,495 --> 00:37:01,015 - No, he's not. - I think I am. 545 00:37:03,166 --> 00:37:04,886 No, you're, you're not! 546 00:37:05,085 --> 00:37:08,205 You have your guitar, and you have Lydia. You're not- 547 00:37:11,884 --> 00:37:15,164 We'll talk about this later. Okay? 548 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,360 Hey, Ike? 549 00:37:22,813 --> 00:37:25,253 - What would Jerry do? - He'd play. 550 00:37:25,899 --> 00:37:28,459 - Jerry would play! - He would play! 551 00:37:41,542 --> 00:37:43,226 Well, there's Ike... 552 00:37:43,326 --> 00:37:45,694 with the mayor and the police chief. 553 00:37:45,838 --> 00:37:48,438 Boy, he sure makes friends easy. 554 00:37:48,591 --> 00:37:50,831 That's pretty cool. 555 00:37:58,185 --> 00:37:59,665 - Oh, yeah! - That's right! 556 00:38:05,610 --> 00:38:08,097 - Hey, you're that reporter, right? - Yeah. 557 00:38:08,197 --> 00:38:10,457 There he is again! 558 00:38:10,557 --> 00:38:12,466 Snoop Doggy Dogg! 559 00:38:12,566 --> 00:38:14,814 - I'm going to marry Maggie someday. - Oh, really? 560 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,760 He's an attractive man. 561 00:38:19,291 --> 00:38:22,371 The vicious reporter is attractive? You're saying viciousness is attractive? 562 00:38:23,546 --> 00:38:25,906 No, I am not saying viciousness is attractive. 563 00:38:29,302 --> 00:38:30,635 He's coming. 564 00:38:30,735 --> 00:38:32,035 I better go- 565 00:38:32,389 --> 00:38:35,116 No, no, no. Don't leave. Uh, act natural. 566 00:38:35,216 --> 00:38:36,696 - Okay. - He can probably read lips. 567 00:38:38,145 --> 00:38:41,105 The famous Swenson triplets. Gimme 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. 568 00:38:42,066 --> 00:38:45,346 - I will handle this. - Don't move your lips! Okay? Go on. 569 00:38:45,529 --> 00:38:49,169 I will handle this! I won't say anything. 570 00:38:49,366 --> 00:38:51,806 - Okay. - I'll handle it. 571 00:38:53,996 --> 00:38:56,196 Yeah, Cory! 572 00:38:57,542 --> 00:38:59,226 - Hey, Peggy Flemming! - Hey. 573 00:38:59,326 --> 00:39:01,838 - Not the ice skater. - That's Maggie's seat. 574 00:39:01,938 --> 00:39:04,922 Yes, and this must be her beer too. 575 00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:07,452 - Hey! - Hey, sweetie! 576 00:39:08,512 --> 00:39:09,821 That your husband out here? 577 00:39:09,921 --> 00:39:12,409 - Yeah. - This is Cory? Cory Flemming? 578 00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:15,118 He's a radio announcer here, isn't he? 579 00:39:15,218 --> 00:39:18,218 Yeah, that's right. Have you heard his morning show, "Wake up with Flemm"? 580 00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:22,384 Not yet. 581 00:39:22,611 --> 00:39:24,291 Now up, Atlantic Hotel's Lee Mistlehorne. 582 00:39:26,657 --> 00:39:29,104 He actually made the all-stars in high school. 583 00:39:29,204 --> 00:39:31,355 Really? You must be very proud of him. 584 00:39:31,455 --> 00:39:33,346 I didn't really know him back then. 585 00:39:33,446 --> 00:39:35,854 He was actually dating Maggie... at the time. 586 00:39:38,086 --> 00:39:40,846 I mean, he never really- They were never gonna... 587 00:39:42,591 --> 00:39:44,711 get engaged or anything, It was just like, you know. 588 00:39:45,678 --> 00:39:48,198 Sometimes he'd call her Magpie, and it was really irritating. 589 00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:50,913 But- I don't know why I'm telling you this. 590 00:39:51,977 --> 00:39:54,177 No, this is good. 591 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,127 - He's stealing third! - Yes! 592 00:39:58,227 --> 00:39:59,227 Safe! 593 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,320 Excellent! 594 00:40:05,408 --> 00:40:06,608 Yes! Yes! Whoo! 595 00:40:09,746 --> 00:40:10,746 Safe! 596 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,487 - I love it! - Uh-huh! 597 00:40:14,587 --> 00:40:15,587 Yeah! 598 00:40:16,017 --> 00:40:18,363 - Good one! - Magpie! 599 00:40:21,426 --> 00:40:22,426 Just- 600 00:40:23,168 --> 00:40:25,168 Excellent! 601 00:40:25,889 --> 00:40:28,249 It's nice that they're... still friends. 602 00:40:32,146 --> 00:40:36,186 Yeah, I mean, that was just a long time ago. And you know, it's just- 603 00:40:39,821 --> 00:40:42,381 So- Excuse me. 604 00:40:42,532 --> 00:40:44,091 - You all right? - Yeah. 605 00:40:44,191 --> 00:40:47,519 That makes it Alumni, nine, Hale students eight. 606 00:40:47,704 --> 00:40:50,264 - Hey, Peggy? - Hey. 607 00:40:51,709 --> 00:40:55,749 Cookies for today's game were donated by Betty Trout. 608 00:40:57,632 --> 00:41:00,912 Now up for the Comets, Jordan Hill. 609 00:41:01,761 --> 00:41:04,448 You have been here, What, like three minutes? 610 00:41:04,548 --> 00:41:05,548 What did you do to her?. 611 00:41:05,647 --> 00:41:08,627 - You could just turn that finger around. - Excuse me? 612 00:41:09,645 --> 00:41:12,125 Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory! Pow, pow, pow, pow. What is this about? 613 00:41:13,566 --> 00:41:15,926 You know what? We have all been friends our entire lives. 614 00:41:16,569 --> 00:41:19,409 A type of relationship that you obviously don't understand. 615 00:41:19,573 --> 00:41:22,093 I'm not the only one who does not understand. 616 00:41:23,827 --> 00:41:26,387 The U.S.S. Maggie leaves quite a wake. 617 00:41:27,206 --> 00:41:29,206 Excuse me. 618 00:41:33,588 --> 00:41:36,268 Pot-stirrer man. 619 00:41:44,141 --> 00:41:46,821 Cory Flemming to Lee Mistlehorne to Dr. Ettinger. 620 00:41:46,978 --> 00:41:49,018 Hey. All right. 621 00:41:50,899 --> 00:41:53,659 That's cheering. I'm cheering normal. 622 00:41:53,819 --> 00:41:56,459 Cheer. Normal. 623 00:41:59,116 --> 00:42:01,796 - Good morning, Peggy. - Good morning. 624 00:42:13,006 --> 00:42:15,766 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 625 00:42:17,261 --> 00:42:20,261 Good morning to you too. You look good. 626 00:42:21,849 --> 00:42:23,849 Thank you. 627 00:42:24,187 --> 00:42:26,225 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 628 00:42:27,022 --> 00:42:30,422 - Yes. - I don't mean to. 629 00:42:30,609 --> 00:42:34,009 I know. I think sometimes you just sort of... 630 00:42:34,196 --> 00:42:36,836 spaz out with excess flirtatious energy 631 00:42:37,658 --> 00:42:39,538 and it just lands on anything male that moves. 632 00:42:41,287 --> 00:42:43,872 Anything male that moves? 633 00:42:43,972 --> 00:42:46,597 As opposed to anything male that doesn't? 634 00:42:48,796 --> 00:42:52,396 Well, like certain kinds of coral. 635 00:42:53,968 --> 00:42:56,004 I'm definitely going to have to kill myself today. 636 00:42:56,104 --> 00:42:57,104 Why? 637 00:42:57,203 --> 00:42:59,731 Because you think I'm all like, "Hey, man, check me out. " 638 00:43:01,435 --> 00:43:04,115 No, I don't. I think you're like... 639 00:43:05,981 --> 00:43:09,901 "I'm charming and mysterious in a way that even I don't understand, 640 00:43:10,111 --> 00:43:13,311 and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like you. " 641 00:43:15,992 --> 00:43:17,843 It's very hard to compete with. 642 00:43:17,943 --> 00:43:20,183 Especially as... married women who've lost our mystery. 643 00:43:22,416 --> 00:43:24,736 Lost- You hav- You are totally mysterious. 644 00:43:26,003 --> 00:43:28,104 No. I'm weird. 645 00:43:28,204 --> 00:43:30,284 Weird and mysterious are two very different things. 646 00:43:32,051 --> 00:43:33,571 - I'm weird. - No, you're quirky. 647 00:43:35,472 --> 00:43:37,952 Quirky and weird are two very different things. 648 00:43:42,146 --> 00:43:46,346 Peggy, I think there is a distinct possibility... 649 00:43:46,567 --> 00:43:50,367 that I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up. 650 00:43:52,783 --> 00:43:54,863 Despite that, 651 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,760 I love you and I promise... 652 00:43:58,372 --> 00:44:00,652 to no longer flirt with Cory. 653 00:44:01,959 --> 00:44:04,359 Maggie, I'm not worried about you and Cory, 654 00:44:05,463 --> 00:44:07,314 or me and Cory, 655 00:44:07,414 --> 00:44:10,382 or you being irreversibly screwed up. 656 00:44:11,803 --> 00:44:14,483 Maggie, you've been like this since we were kids. 657 00:44:15,140 --> 00:44:19,540 And all I'm thinking is, now that you're aware of it, 658 00:44:19,771 --> 00:44:22,851 and that it hurts people's feelings sometimes, 659 00:44:23,024 --> 00:44:27,144 maybe it's time to get on with life, and commit to someone of your own, 660 00:44:27,362 --> 00:44:30,042 like Bob, if he's the one. 661 00:44:30,908 --> 00:44:32,308 I know. 662 00:44:36,414 --> 00:44:38,694 Is there anything I can do to... make it up to you? 663 00:44:40,835 --> 00:44:43,355 Well, there's always... 664 00:44:44,172 --> 00:44:46,532 the thing that brings warmth to my heart, 665 00:44:48,177 --> 00:44:50,403 and that is duckbill platypus. 666 00:44:50,503 --> 00:44:53,151 Duckbill- That is only funny in like Camp Birchwood on... 667 00:44:54,350 --> 00:44:55,350 Just do it. 668 00:44:55,449 --> 00:44:57,925 a trip with the tent and my leg as the pole and it's raining. 669 00:44:59,064 --> 00:45:01,311 And you know. That's the only time that's funny. 670 00:45:01,411 --> 00:45:03,426 Let's just see. 671 00:45:05,279 --> 00:45:06,279 Oh. 672 00:45:18,085 --> 00:45:20,845 It's so humiliating. 673 00:45:21,088 --> 00:45:23,088 Thank you. 674 00:45:24,425 --> 00:45:25,905 Thank you. 675 00:45:39,108 --> 00:45:41,948 Lee. Hey, wake up. Hey. 676 00:45:42,111 --> 00:45:44,212 - Hello? - Hi. 677 00:45:44,312 --> 00:45:46,720 Gimme the key to the reporter's room. I wanna snoop around. 678 00:45:46,866 --> 00:45:49,312 - Come on, quick. Wake up. - Second floor. 679 00:45:49,412 --> 00:45:51,825 - Thank you. - Don't take anything big. 680 00:45:51,997 --> 00:45:52,997 Okay. 681 00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:24,250 Hopefully his favorite. 682 00:46:24,491 --> 00:46:25,931 My theory is she's running... 683 00:46:26,702 --> 00:46:28,365 because she gets negative attention. 684 00:46:28,465 --> 00:46:30,095 Negative attention is attention. 685 00:46:30,915 --> 00:46:33,875 You know, like when women whack you on the street because of your column. 686 00:46:34,377 --> 00:46:35,560 That's negative attention. 687 00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:38,108 We're talking about her negative attention, not mine. 688 00:46:48,183 --> 00:46:50,830 "How does she get all those guys to propose? 689 00:46:50,930 --> 00:46:53,363 She's not that beautiful. " 690 00:46:53,523 --> 00:46:56,243 Bite me, paper boy. 691 00:47:02,741 --> 00:47:04,216 Hi, Ike. 692 00:47:04,316 --> 00:47:07,204 You put your shoes out at night, they're real shiny in the morning. 693 00:47:07,371 --> 00:47:11,171 - Sometimes they don't bring 'em back. - Mmm, why take a chance? 694 00:47:11,376 --> 00:47:13,576 Good night. 695 00:47:27,602 --> 00:47:30,122 All right. I know you're in there. I saw it. 696 00:47:32,232 --> 00:47:34,792 You realize you're messing with the First Amendment now. 697 00:47:36,945 --> 00:47:39,352 Come on, open up. 698 00:47:39,452 --> 00:47:40,794 Come on! 699 00:47:41,575 --> 00:47:43,946 We should have a very serious discussion... 700 00:47:44,046 --> 00:47:46,351 about why you are such a pain in the ass! 701 00:47:46,451 --> 00:47:47,451 Open the door! 702 00:47:47,707 --> 00:47:49,759 I'm coming in. I'm coming through. 703 00:47:49,859 --> 00:47:51,878 It's your last chance. Here I come! 704 00:47:52,004 --> 00:47:54,164 Here I come! 705 00:47:56,300 --> 00:47:57,860 All right. 706 00:47:59,303 --> 00:48:02,823 Breaking and entering. That's a felony. I'm calling the sheriff. 707 00:48:03,016 --> 00:48:04,825 You know what? You do that. 708 00:48:04,925 --> 00:48:07,973 Can you remind him that he's bringing the wine to the luau? 709 00:48:08,146 --> 00:48:10,986 It'll save me a call. Thanks so much. 710 00:48:11,734 --> 00:48:14,214 Hey, Ike, does your friend have a sister?. 711 00:48:15,196 --> 00:48:17,836 Wait for the original. She'll be available in a week. 712 00:48:59,411 --> 00:49:02,931 Freeze. Oh, hold on to those covers. I didn't come to see Ike Junior. 713 00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:07,025 I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers. 714 00:49:09,797 --> 00:49:12,197 So, your notes made for... interesting reading. 715 00:49:13,927 --> 00:49:15,068 What's your point? 716 00:49:15,168 --> 00:49:17,536 My point is, once again, you're getting it all wrong. 717 00:49:17,681 --> 00:49:19,622 And that's not gonna improve your reputation, 718 00:49:19,722 --> 00:49:21,480 and it's not very flattering to me, either. 719 00:49:21,580 --> 00:49:23,792 So, I decided that I would help you write the truth. 720 00:49:27,483 --> 00:49:29,883 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 721 00:49:31,613 --> 00:49:35,173 I've decided to cooperate and let you interview me... 722 00:49:35,951 --> 00:49:36,951 for 723 00:49:39,455 --> 00:49:41,514 I want a big wedding and a killer dress. 724 00:49:41,614 --> 00:49:44,814 And for a grand, I will answer all your questions and let you follow me around. 725 00:49:46,796 --> 00:49:49,236 The magazine does not spend money for stories. 726 00:49:51,009 --> 00:49:53,256 It's not what you would call ethical. 727 00:49:53,356 --> 00:49:54,356 I meant you. 728 00:49:54,455 --> 00:49:57,946 I figured you probably got severance or expenses or both. 729 00:49:59,685 --> 00:50:02,365 I'm guessing that you're writing on spec. 730 00:50:03,064 --> 00:50:06,704 And, with a first-person interview, you might actually sell that thing. 731 00:50:07,361 --> 00:50:09,681 - Too much. - Seven-fifty. 732 00:50:10,531 --> 00:50:12,931 - Five hundred. - Six-fifty. 733 00:50:13,659 --> 00:50:14,659 Done. 734 00:50:19,666 --> 00:50:23,706 Is that supposed to be a joke? I know what you're whistling. 735 00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,560 - Hello. - Hi. 736 00:50:27,216 --> 00:50:30,696 This is a birthday present for my cousin. 737 00:50:33,306 --> 00:50:35,506 That's great. 738 00:50:35,975 --> 00:50:40,215 Wonderful stuff. All these found industrial parts and things. 739 00:50:40,939 --> 00:50:42,849 A lamp tree. 740 00:50:42,949 --> 00:50:44,458 That's great. 741 00:50:44,558 --> 00:50:48,646 - Is this- That's your preferred logo? - I think so. 742 00:50:48,864 --> 00:50:50,590 It's nice. The whole thing is great. 743 00:50:50,690 --> 00:50:53,258 I think you could sell these lamps in New York. 744 00:50:53,745 --> 00:50:55,345 Maybe someday. 745 00:50:55,445 --> 00:50:57,773 - You afraid to try? - No, no. I'm not afraid. 746 00:50:59,001 --> 00:51:00,721 Just... someday. 747 00:51:03,923 --> 00:51:06,283 This is Brian. 748 00:51:06,801 --> 00:51:08,834 Oh, Father Brian. 749 00:51:08,934 --> 00:51:12,768 - And Gill's, of course. - Gill, yeah. 750 00:51:12,974 --> 00:51:15,254 And... George. 751 00:51:16,353 --> 00:51:19,793 He proposed at a butterfly farm in Saint Thomas. 752 00:51:19,982 --> 00:51:22,261 The ring was inside a cocoon. 753 00:51:22,361 --> 00:51:24,840 Ahh. A little too Silence of the Lambs for my taste but- 754 00:51:25,530 --> 00:51:29,170 Well, he's an entomologist. I thought it was very unique. 755 00:51:29,701 --> 00:51:32,421 And, finally, Bob. 756 00:51:32,579 --> 00:51:35,139 He proposed during the seventh-inning stretch... 757 00:51:37,084 --> 00:51:39,764 at an Oriole game. 758 00:51:40,212 --> 00:51:42,532 Wait, wait. Wait, don't tell me. 759 00:51:43,299 --> 00:51:46,619 The scoreboard lit up with "Marry me Maggie. " 760 00:51:46,803 --> 00:51:49,283 It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. 761 00:51:50,599 --> 00:51:52,033 Highly suspect. 762 00:51:52,133 --> 00:51:54,701 What do you mean? It was incredibly romantic. 763 00:51:55,813 --> 00:51:58,413 Look, maybe it's just me, but... 764 00:51:58,566 --> 00:52:02,286 if you gotta dress it up like that, it just doesn't ring true. 765 00:52:03,196 --> 00:52:04,596 You know, I, I think the most... 766 00:52:06,533 --> 00:52:09,253 that anybody can honestly say is: 767 00:52:09,369 --> 00:52:12,009 "Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee... 768 00:52:14,458 --> 00:52:18,338 "at some point one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. 769 00:52:18,963 --> 00:52:22,883 "But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, 770 00:52:23,969 --> 00:52:26,449 "I'll regret it the rest of my life. 771 00:52:27,598 --> 00:52:30,318 "Because I know, in my heart... 772 00:52:32,478 --> 00:52:35,038 you're the only one for me. " 773 00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:40,360 I like it. 774 00:52:41,405 --> 00:52:44,125 I'd like it better on a scoreboard. 775 00:52:46,994 --> 00:52:50,154 So, is that what you said when you asked your wife to marry you? 776 00:52:51,624 --> 00:52:54,344 Don't look so surprised. You've got "divorce" written all over you. 777 00:52:55,754 --> 00:52:58,234 I'm a work-in-progress. 778 00:52:58,757 --> 00:53:00,717 So, is that what you said to her?. 779 00:53:02,052 --> 00:53:05,012 No, I think I said something very eloquent like, 780 00:53:05,181 --> 00:53:06,781 "So, um, 781 00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:10,397 "maybe you and I should, you know- 782 00:53:10,562 --> 00:53:13,122 What do you think? Huh?" 783 00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:17,168 Now, that's romantic. 784 00:53:17,268 --> 00:53:19,996 And with a proposal like that, you didn't find eternal bliss? 785 00:53:21,657 --> 00:53:24,017 What went wrong? 786 00:53:24,202 --> 00:53:25,482 I don't know. 787 00:53:25,995 --> 00:53:28,435 - You don't know? - No. 788 00:53:30,667 --> 00:53:34,667 Maybe you should ask her sometime. Ever thought of that? 789 00:53:43,181 --> 00:53:45,228 Even with everything that's happened, 790 00:53:45,328 --> 00:53:46,654 I have still never been married. 791 00:53:46,935 --> 00:53:49,575 And I still deserve a beautiful dress. 792 00:53:53,776 --> 00:53:55,360 Mrs. Whittenmeyer?. 793 00:53:55,460 --> 00:53:56,628 Where are you going? 794 00:53:56,728 --> 00:53:58,880 - Hi, Polly. - Hi, Maggie. 795 00:53:58,980 --> 00:54:01,736 You'll have to excuse her. Some of the children are afraid of you... 796 00:54:01,836 --> 00:54:04,185 since you dragged that little boy up the aisle. 797 00:54:04,329 --> 00:54:06,263 Drag-No. I didn't, I did- 798 00:54:06,363 --> 00:54:08,971 He tripped on his own shoelaces. 799 00:54:09,126 --> 00:54:11,806 You've come for your dress. Good. It's in the back. I'll get it. 800 00:54:11,962 --> 00:54:14,242 Actually, Mrs. Whittenmeyer. I decided... 801 00:54:16,551 --> 00:54:18,951 that I want to get this dress. 802 00:54:19,262 --> 00:54:21,662 The one you have on hold is lovely, dear. 803 00:54:23,183 --> 00:54:25,903 I know, but I've just- I've changed my mind. 804 00:54:26,061 --> 00:54:27,461 This is 805 00:54:29,273 --> 00:54:31,273 And I have 806 00:54:31,984 --> 00:54:34,304 The other one is only dear. 807 00:54:34,988 --> 00:54:37,308 Um- Is that dress for sale? 808 00:54:40,285 --> 00:54:43,685 It's just a lot of money to spend on one of your dresses, Maggie. 809 00:54:44,373 --> 00:54:46,893 After all, you only wear them for about ten minutes or so. 810 00:54:53,091 --> 00:54:55,192 Um, yeah, yeah. 811 00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,940 I guess that's true. 812 00:55:00,099 --> 00:55:02,059 Uh, the other dress is, is nice. 813 00:55:03,769 --> 00:55:05,787 - Mrs. Whittenheimer?. - Meyer. 814 00:55:05,887 --> 00:55:08,575 Whittenmeyer. Could I talk to you just for a second? 815 00:55:09,108 --> 00:55:11,308 Come here. I don't know much about this kind of thing. 816 00:55:12,237 --> 00:55:14,677 I'm from out of town. But you're a salesperson, right? 817 00:55:14,781 --> 00:55:17,421 - You're here to sell wedding dresses. - I've been here 30 years. 818 00:55:18,911 --> 00:55:20,991 Perfect! Because Miss Carpenter is here to buy one. 819 00:55:22,707 --> 00:55:24,587 Ah. But not just any one. She wants that one. 820 00:55:25,668 --> 00:55:28,428 - It's Listen, Aunt Bee. 821 00:55:30,382 --> 00:55:33,422 Verbal communication was never perfect for me. Let's try visual, all right? 822 00:55:37,223 --> 00:55:39,365 We're buying the dress. 823 00:55:39,465 --> 00:55:42,119 Now, we'll have this nice beautiful dress. 824 00:55:42,219 --> 00:55:44,866 And anything else she wants, it's hers. Okay? All right? 825 00:55:54,575 --> 00:55:57,135 What do you think? 826 00:56:11,886 --> 00:56:13,686 You look- 827 00:56:22,105 --> 00:56:24,472 You look fine. 828 00:56:24,572 --> 00:56:25,572 Fine. 829 00:56:30,823 --> 00:56:33,150 You're reading your newspaper upside down. 830 00:56:33,250 --> 00:56:35,196 That's gotta be better than "fine. " 831 00:56:35,296 --> 00:56:36,296 Yeah. 832 00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,223 Come on, now. Admire me. 833 00:56:39,323 --> 00:56:41,091 Get the whole picture. Right? 834 00:56:41,585 --> 00:56:43,394 I'm gonna have my hair up somehow. 835 00:56:43,494 --> 00:56:45,781 I don't know. Maybe with a little in the back. 836 00:56:45,881 --> 00:56:48,641 And, my favorite feature... 837 00:56:48,801 --> 00:56:52,841 is that it kind of swishes like a bell, when I move. 838 00:56:54,891 --> 00:56:57,091 Ding. Ding. 839 00:56:57,811 --> 00:57:00,011 Ding. Ding. 840 00:57:02,191 --> 00:57:03,938 It works. 841 00:57:04,038 --> 00:57:06,426 Bob will be very happy. 842 00:57:06,571 --> 00:57:09,611 Oh, Bob! We gotta go. We gotta go meet Bob. 843 00:57:11,451 --> 00:57:14,331 Oh, jeez, yeah, I'm going to the luau. I never miss it. The barbershop- 844 00:57:14,872 --> 00:57:17,392 Mrs. Pressman, we're ready to order here, I think. 845 00:57:18,542 --> 00:57:20,435 I'm all out of the special- 846 00:57:20,535 --> 00:57:23,295 That's all right. I'm gonna have the garden omelet, egg whites only. 847 00:57:23,923 --> 00:57:26,570 - Okay. - That sounds good. I'll have the same. 848 00:57:26,670 --> 00:57:27,670 Of course. 849 00:57:27,769 --> 00:57:31,639 What is that? I can't even order eggs without sarcasm from you? 850 00:57:33,016 --> 00:57:35,616 - You're on the same team now. - What is that sound? 851 00:57:35,770 --> 00:57:37,453 Have some water. 852 00:57:37,553 --> 00:57:41,001 - Penalty box. Penalty box. Hmm? - What is it? Fur ball? 853 00:57:41,192 --> 00:57:43,792 Ike, Maggie is the sweetest person you're ever gonna meet. 854 00:57:44,029 --> 00:57:45,709 But she focuses too much out there. 855 00:57:46,615 --> 00:57:48,295 She needs to start focusing more in here. 856 00:57:49,117 --> 00:57:51,637 That's why I think she's had, uh, 857 00:57:52,121 --> 00:57:54,401 whatever you wanna call 'em- problems in the past. 858 00:57:55,833 --> 00:57:58,153 And that's what we're working on. Focus. 859 00:57:59,629 --> 00:58:03,029 - Focus. Focus on Maggie. Focus. - Mm-hmm. 860 00:58:03,216 --> 00:58:05,776 Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob. 861 00:58:06,345 --> 00:58:08,905 I've been runnin' Maggie through these visualization exercises. 862 00:58:09,056 --> 00:58:11,696 All the sports shrinks use this head stuff. 863 00:58:11,851 --> 00:58:13,211 Visualize the end zone. 864 00:58:14,938 --> 00:58:17,378 Visualize that hole-in-one. 865 00:58:19,651 --> 00:58:23,131 Tell me. When you get to the altar, do you spike the bouquet? 866 00:58:23,322 --> 00:58:25,842 - Okay, you know what- - Well, I'm off. 867 00:58:26,116 --> 00:58:28,636 A reporter's work is never done. 868 00:58:28,786 --> 00:58:30,873 See you later. Bye, Mrs. Pressman. Thank you. 869 00:58:30,973 --> 00:58:33,181 I'm gonna go focus on your eggs, Bob. 870 00:58:36,461 --> 00:58:38,941 I'm glad you're here. I wanted to try to explain. 871 00:58:39,631 --> 00:58:43,031 There are reasons why there have been three weddings and no "I do's. " 872 00:58:43,219 --> 00:58:46,019 You can't believe how much cake we got stuck with. 873 00:58:46,180 --> 00:58:48,980 It's a wonder I don't weigh 300 pounds! 874 00:58:49,142 --> 00:58:52,182 And then, her father bought all that booze that nobody drank. 875 00:58:52,354 --> 00:58:54,034 - But he didn't mind that- - Hi, Grandma. 876 00:58:55,857 --> 00:58:57,083 Hi, Netta. 877 00:58:57,183 --> 00:59:00,871 Grammy here was giving me the skinny on why you run from marital bliss. 878 00:59:01,071 --> 00:59:03,471 Right. Netta, cover up your ears. 879 00:59:05,243 --> 00:59:07,850 It's not that she's afraid of the wedding. 880 00:59:07,950 --> 00:59:09,700 She's afraid of the wedding night! 881 00:59:10,540 --> 00:59:14,020 Innocent girls are terrified of the one-eyed snake. 882 00:59:16,964 --> 00:59:18,856 Why, when I was a virgin bride, 883 00:59:18,956 --> 00:59:21,444 I took a knitting needle to bed with me. 884 00:59:23,471 --> 00:59:25,238 Grandma, I charmed... 885 00:59:25,338 --> 00:59:27,786 - the one-eyed snake a while ago. - Oh, yeah. I forgot. 886 00:59:30,270 --> 00:59:33,230 Well, I tell you one thing. Your grandpa never forgot that wedding night. 887 00:59:34,733 --> 00:59:37,260 Netta, you can take your hands down. 888 00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:38,712 - The tea's cold. - Good. 889 00:59:38,812 --> 00:59:41,612 Could you excuse us for a minute? May I have a word with you, please? 890 00:59:41,741 --> 00:59:43,261 Oh. Bye, Netta. Bye. 891 00:59:44,744 --> 00:59:46,464 Thanks, Grammy. 892 00:59:50,292 --> 00:59:53,412 I found this, and I didn't know if it was something interesting. 893 00:59:53,587 --> 00:59:56,107 - My- This is Miles Davis! - I was cleaning out the attic and- 894 00:59:57,592 --> 01:00:00,032 This is very hard to find in good condition. 895 01:00:00,178 --> 01:00:03,938 - Hold on to this. This is incredible. - Why don't you take it? 896 01:00:08,145 --> 01:00:09,745 Take it. 897 01:00:10,544 --> 01:00:13,424 You're figuring out what kind of music I like, finding me a rare album. 898 01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:17,129 You're not trying to butter me up, are you? 899 01:00:17,656 --> 01:00:20,109 I was cleaning out the attic, 900 01:00:20,209 --> 01:00:22,628 not attempting the impossible. 901 01:00:24,038 --> 01:00:26,758 I smell trouble. 902 01:00:28,334 --> 01:00:30,814 This is Cory Flemming, and I'll be featuring the music... 903 01:00:30,962 --> 01:00:33,482 of Denise and Da Nephews, tomorrow morning on "Wake Up With-" 904 01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:39,540 What do we got here? 905 01:00:44,060 --> 01:00:45,785 Come on, big guy. 906 01:00:45,885 --> 01:00:47,704 Oh, on our feet. Here we go. 907 01:00:47,804 --> 01:00:49,915 Let's go, let's go, big guy. Yeah. 908 01:00:50,015 --> 01:00:53,943 I haven't had any fun since you got your driver's license. 909 01:00:54,154 --> 01:00:57,034 Let me give you a tip. I haven't been having a whole lot of fun either. 910 01:00:58,659 --> 01:01:00,059 Steady. 911 01:01:01,287 --> 01:01:04,047 - Good boy, Porthole. - His name's Skipper, Dad. 912 01:01:04,207 --> 01:01:06,087 - I changed it. - Ah. Okay, step. 913 01:01:07,585 --> 01:01:09,905 I'll be back later, Travis. 914 01:01:10,672 --> 01:01:13,112 That guy Travis really has a problem. 915 01:01:13,926 --> 01:01:16,493 - I'll get- - Here we are. 916 01:01:16,593 --> 01:01:18,655 Okay, steady. 917 01:01:18,755 --> 01:01:21,443 You're gonna lean, I'm gonna push. 918 01:01:21,559 --> 01:01:24,199 Good daughters let their fathers pass out. 919 01:01:24,354 --> 01:01:26,914 Hey, Walter. Right down there. 920 01:01:27,399 --> 01:01:29,815 I, I- Please, please don't write anything- 921 01:01:29,915 --> 01:01:32,298 Forget about it. Don't even think about it. 922 01:01:44,584 --> 01:01:47,624 I'm just so tired of this whole scene. 923 01:01:48,130 --> 01:01:51,170 Why don't you just let him sleep it off here in the truck? 924 01:01:52,176 --> 01:01:54,736 Come for a ride with me, come back for him later. 925 01:01:58,767 --> 01:01:59,767 Okay. 926 01:02:15,910 --> 01:02:19,390 He's been drinking more and more since my mom passed away. 927 01:02:19,581 --> 01:02:22,341 That's when you quit school to come back here? 928 01:02:22,501 --> 01:02:25,701 Yeah, I had to come run the store for my dad. 929 01:02:26,547 --> 01:02:29,147 My dad had a small printing business. 930 01:02:31,511 --> 01:02:34,078 He wanted me to become a classical musician. 931 01:02:34,178 --> 01:02:36,367 My mother wanted me to be a novelist. 932 01:02:37,643 --> 01:02:40,203 They were 0-for-two. 933 01:02:43,065 --> 01:02:44,065 More? 934 01:02:45,266 --> 01:02:48,954 So, I, uh- I became a reporter. 935 01:02:51,825 --> 01:02:54,545 Not quite a novelist. But as we all know, 936 01:02:54,703 --> 01:02:57,823 journalism is literature in a hurry. 937 01:03:10,762 --> 01:03:12,697 What? What is this? 938 01:03:12,797 --> 01:03:15,233 What kind of gas did you put in here? Diesel? 939 01:03:15,333 --> 01:03:17,768 I don't know. The pump the closest to the car. 940 01:03:22,525 --> 01:03:25,765 This car takes unleaded. Your filter is clogged. 941 01:03:25,946 --> 01:03:27,338 Can you fix it? 942 01:03:27,438 --> 01:03:30,046 - I'm gonna need to get some tools. - Oh, good. 943 01:03:30,909 --> 01:03:33,516 Kind of isolated here. 944 01:03:33,616 --> 01:03:35,487 Yeah, it's nice. 945 01:03:37,834 --> 01:03:40,401 Well, if there's one thing us New Yorkers know how to do, 946 01:03:40,501 --> 01:03:42,610 that's hail a cab. 947 01:03:42,756 --> 01:03:45,156 If there's no cab, we walk. 948 01:03:45,300 --> 01:03:46,900 Uh, well, if we saved the battery here, 949 01:03:48,637 --> 01:03:50,037 there's a place just down the way. 950 01:03:51,933 --> 01:03:54,493 We country girls cut across the field. It's quicker. 951 01:04:00,734 --> 01:04:02,814 Oh, be careful of snakes. 952 01:04:04,697 --> 01:04:07,177 - What? - Snakes. 953 01:04:07,742 --> 01:04:08,841 I don't like snakes. 954 01:04:08,941 --> 01:04:11,469 Walk nice. They won't get ya. 955 01:04:14,374 --> 01:04:16,374 Come on, come on, come on! 956 01:04:16,751 --> 01:04:20,351 What are you- What are you doing? Snake dance? 957 01:04:20,547 --> 01:04:23,107 I'm scaring the snakes. 958 01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:25,020 - You're scaring me. - I'm scaring myself. 959 01:04:30,350 --> 01:04:33,830 Do you think there's one right person for everybody? 960 01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:36,247 No, but I think attraction... 961 01:04:36,347 --> 01:04:39,435 is too often mistaken for rightness. 962 01:04:40,945 --> 01:04:43,585 Attraction is very misleading. 963 01:04:45,324 --> 01:04:46,633 - Yes, it is. - Yeah. 964 01:04:46,733 --> 01:04:48,251 - And it doesn't mean anything. - No. 965 01:04:48,351 --> 01:04:50,271 No, no. It doesn't mean anything. It means- 966 01:05:01,926 --> 01:05:03,126 I, uh, 967 01:05:04,637 --> 01:05:06,677 suddenly forgot how to climb a fence. 968 01:05:11,061 --> 01:05:13,461 - Tools. - Tools. Yeah. 969 01:05:21,739 --> 01:05:24,979 - Lionel? Do you have tools? - Hey, Maggie! 970 01:05:26,495 --> 01:05:29,735 What are you gonna do? Bust out of another wedding? 971 01:05:31,125 --> 01:05:34,005 Sure are well-known 'round here. 972 01:05:35,505 --> 01:05:37,480 No, Fish, it's almost done. I swear. 973 01:05:37,580 --> 01:05:39,900 This story's taken a very interesting turn. 974 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:43,368 I've got one more interview to do up in New York. I'll see you later. 975 01:05:52,607 --> 01:05:55,687 You could've told me that you were fianc, number three. 976 01:05:55,860 --> 01:05:57,836 And end up in the papers? 977 01:05:57,936 --> 01:06:01,264 I've been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime. Thank you. 978 01:06:01,909 --> 01:06:03,592 I was traveling around, 979 01:06:03,692 --> 01:06:06,212 studying the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts... 980 01:06:07,957 --> 01:06:09,891 when Maggie met me. 981 01:06:09,991 --> 01:06:12,359 Tell me, George. Why do you think she ran? 982 01:06:13,338 --> 01:06:15,818 Just like you said. What did you call her?. A man-eater?. 983 01:06:16,633 --> 01:06:19,913 A devouring death goddess. All right? 984 01:06:20,095 --> 01:06:22,855 That's what I said. But I don't think that's why she ran. 985 01:06:23,015 --> 01:06:24,365 Oh, why do you think she ran? 986 01:06:24,465 --> 01:06:27,033 I don't know. I am working on it. I was on the wrong track. 987 01:06:27,186 --> 01:06:29,146 - Are you defending her?. - No, no. 988 01:06:30,607 --> 01:06:34,687 I call it like I see it. I'm a journalist. I'm a truth teller. 989 01:06:34,903 --> 01:06:37,046 - Unbelievable. - What? 990 01:06:37,146 --> 01:06:39,714 She got to you, too. like a moth to a flame. 991 01:06:39,867 --> 01:06:41,968 - Please! - Join the club. 992 01:06:42,068 --> 01:06:44,748 - What are you talking about? - You need this much more than I do. 993 01:06:44,956 --> 01:06:47,676 I am a journalist. I'm doing an article. Look. See? I'm being paid. 994 01:06:49,294 --> 01:06:54,254 This will be published. A cover story. You'll get all the facts, in the article. 995 01:06:54,508 --> 01:06:57,148 Do you know what kind of eggs she liked? 996 01:06:58,387 --> 01:07:01,307 Poached, same as me. 997 01:07:10,275 --> 01:07:13,075 An overpriced apartment and Chinese take-out. 998 01:07:13,237 --> 01:07:14,796 That's New York living. 999 01:07:14,896 --> 01:07:17,424 Fisher, don't forget the fortune cookies. 1000 01:07:17,575 --> 01:07:21,015 I already read the fortune. You don't wanna know. 1001 01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:23,964 He makes me crazy. 1002 01:07:24,750 --> 01:07:27,550 Hostility is a very important part of your foreplay, isn't it? 1003 01:07:27,711 --> 01:07:30,191 It takes three people to make our marriage work: 1004 01:07:30,339 --> 01:07:32,739 him, me and our therapist. 1005 01:07:38,181 --> 01:07:41,061 Ellie, what went wrong? 1006 01:07:41,226 --> 01:07:43,026 With us, with the two of us, I mean. 1007 01:07:44,313 --> 01:07:48,513 I know It's been a long time. Do you remember?. 1008 01:07:49,777 --> 01:07:53,337 Yeah. Do I remember?. Of course I do. 1009 01:07:55,533 --> 01:07:58,693 Is that what- Did I do the same- 1010 01:07:58,870 --> 01:08:02,830 Is that what happened? Did I just... not see you? 1011 01:08:05,336 --> 01:08:08,336 No. No, you didn't. 1012 01:08:15,514 --> 01:08:17,531 I'm sorry. 1013 01:08:17,631 --> 01:08:19,039 I'm sorry, Ellie. 1014 01:08:20,144 --> 01:08:22,824 I'm sorry too, Ike. 1015 01:08:24,315 --> 01:08:27,835 Wow, that only took us 12 years to say. 1016 01:08:29,362 --> 01:08:31,722 Hey, I saw that, you cad. 1017 01:08:31,948 --> 01:08:34,388 You asked for it, you got it. Here you go. 1018 01:08:34,993 --> 01:08:36,313 My dear. 1019 01:08:36,537 --> 01:08:39,057 Get your fortune. Let me see what- 1020 01:08:39,290 --> 01:08:43,610 "Confucius say, man who leave wife alone with ex-husband may leave altogether. " 1021 01:08:45,922 --> 01:08:48,762 - Lights and everything. - I hope it's better than last year. 1022 01:08:48,925 --> 01:08:51,165 Or the last ten years. 1023 01:09:03,942 --> 01:09:07,662 Let's have a hand for our fabulous hula dancers! 1024 01:09:07,863 --> 01:09:10,503 There they are. King and Queen. 1025 01:09:16,164 --> 01:09:20,524 Walter, I'm thinking about going back to my maiden name. 1026 01:09:21,086 --> 01:09:23,246 Can you still remember it? 1027 01:09:23,797 --> 01:09:26,237 What? It's nice, you know. 1028 01:09:26,675 --> 01:09:29,755 It's just I haven't seen him in 24 hours and I would... 1029 01:09:31,931 --> 01:09:34,651 feel better if I knew where he was. You see? 1030 01:09:40,190 --> 01:09:42,291 Welcome to our annual luau. 1031 01:09:42,391 --> 01:09:44,239 - What can I get you? - Aloha, Mister Trout. 1032 01:09:45,613 --> 01:09:48,253 Uh, you got something without a toy in it? 1033 01:09:52,328 --> 01:09:55,168 - Get down, Sprout. - The next three. 1034 01:09:55,832 --> 01:09:56,832 Yeah. 1035 01:09:58,669 --> 01:10:01,029 Oh, I'm hearing it here. 1036 01:10:05,134 --> 01:10:06,334 Aloha! 1037 01:10:08,846 --> 01:10:11,766 It's a very fetching headdress you're wearing. 1038 01:10:15,562 --> 01:10:17,962 Where did- Where did you disappear to? 1039 01:10:19,608 --> 01:10:22,088 Missed me bad, huh? 1040 01:10:23,738 --> 01:10:25,178 And we have a winner right here! 1041 01:10:27,116 --> 01:10:28,756 Yeah! All right, Bob! 1042 01:10:30,328 --> 01:10:32,008 Well, it's chow time here on the islands, 1043 01:10:33,832 --> 01:10:38,112 and we Trouts have prepared our traditional feast, ShrimpTrout. 1044 01:10:38,337 --> 01:10:40,670 So, let's all meet over at the tables. 1045 01:10:40,770 --> 01:10:43,037 You're not allergic to shrimp, are you? 1046 01:10:43,137 --> 01:10:45,192 - Mmm, no. - Pity. 1047 01:10:51,810 --> 01:10:54,410 Attention! Pay attention to Walter. 1048 01:10:55,231 --> 01:10:57,751 Listen closely. He slurs. 1049 01:10:59,527 --> 01:11:01,253 In the tradition... 1050 01:11:01,353 --> 01:11:04,001 that has grown over the years, it is now toast time. 1051 01:11:04,908 --> 01:11:06,675 First up, our host, 1052 01:11:06,775 --> 01:11:09,223 Lou "A Honey of a Beekeeper" Trout. 1053 01:11:14,418 --> 01:11:16,938 May the groom's heart be filled with hope... 1054 01:11:17,088 --> 01:11:19,608 and the bride's feet filled with lead. 1055 01:11:23,261 --> 01:11:26,901 May the pitter-patter of little feet not be Maggie's. 1056 01:11:31,854 --> 01:11:35,534 - May the gifts be returnable. - I took mine back. 1057 01:11:37,193 --> 01:11:39,473 You know the old saying. "You're not losing a daughter"? 1058 01:11:40,989 --> 01:11:43,149 Well, I'd like to. 1059 01:11:45,452 --> 01:11:48,452 Maggie may not be Hale's longest running joke, 1060 01:11:48,623 --> 01:11:51,023 but she is certainly the fastest. 1061 01:11:54,504 --> 01:11:57,144 Good one, Dad. 1062 01:11:58,342 --> 01:12:00,862 Walter, maybe Mr. Graham will say something. 1063 01:12:01,136 --> 01:12:03,613 Ah, here we are. Would you like to say something, Mr. Graham? 1064 01:12:03,713 --> 01:12:05,671 Yeah, just a minute. I don't know yet. You okay? 1065 01:12:07,643 --> 01:12:10,363 Come on, Ike. Take a shot at Maggie live. It's more fun than print. 1066 01:12:12,983 --> 01:12:14,333 Excuse me? 1067 01:12:14,433 --> 01:12:16,721 It's a joke. They're kidding. 1068 01:12:17,029 --> 01:12:19,589 Yeah, come on. Let's go. 1069 01:12:21,742 --> 01:12:24,662 All right. We'll have a toast! 1070 01:12:26,414 --> 01:12:29,654 To Maggie's family and friends. 1071 01:12:30,710 --> 01:12:33,190 May you find yourselves... 1072 01:12:33,338 --> 01:12:36,138 the bull's-eye of an easy target. 1073 01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:42,680 May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices, 1074 01:12:43,850 --> 01:12:47,890 and may your noses be rubbed in all of your mistakes. 1075 01:12:53,110 --> 01:12:56,110 Well, that was funny, but enough toasting. Let's hula! 1076 01:12:56,280 --> 01:12:59,560 Everybody! Let's get up and start the band! 1077 01:13:00,660 --> 01:13:04,100 We're gonna make a line right down here. 1078 01:13:04,623 --> 01:13:07,223 Maggie. Maggie? 1079 01:13:07,376 --> 01:13:09,863 Lou, where are those hula dancers? 1080 01:13:09,963 --> 01:13:12,268 Here. She might need this. 1081 01:13:13,049 --> 01:13:14,049 Where'd Maggie go to? 1082 01:13:14,148 --> 01:13:16,603 She went to get me something from her car. 1083 01:13:16,703 --> 01:13:19,307 - Maybe she needs help. - B-B-B-Bob. Okay. 1084 01:13:19,472 --> 01:13:21,628 The guard, who threw the block? Forrest Gregg. 1085 01:13:21,728 --> 01:13:23,450 No, Elijah Pitts. 1086 01:13:23,550 --> 01:13:25,830 - He's a running back. - The Fridge. Refrigerator Perry? 1087 01:13:27,022 --> 01:13:28,422 Maggie? 1088 01:13:29,483 --> 01:13:32,243 Hey. Here's a coat. 1089 01:13:33,029 --> 01:13:36,189 - Put this coat on. It's cold. - Don't pretend to be a nice person. 1090 01:13:36,366 --> 01:13:39,053 I was the only person in there defending you. 1091 01:13:39,153 --> 01:13:40,452 You humiliated me! 1092 01:13:40,552 --> 01:13:43,752 No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating you is what everyone else did in there. 1093 01:13:45,376 --> 01:13:48,216 - That is the theme of the party tonight. - No. It was under control. 1094 01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:51,022 Now they all feel sorry for me! 1095 01:13:51,122 --> 01:13:53,610 They should. They're about to see you hang yourself again. 1096 01:13:53,760 --> 01:13:54,943 What do you keep- 1097 01:13:55,043 --> 01:13:58,331 Tell me something. Do you really care about Mount Everest? 1098 01:13:58,515 --> 01:14:00,915 It's fun. It's high. 1099 01:14:02,144 --> 01:14:04,443 Sexual practices of locusts? 1100 01:14:04,543 --> 01:14:07,162 Every one of those times I was being supportive. 1101 01:14:08,985 --> 01:14:11,345 Not supportive. You weren't being supportive! 1102 01:14:12,447 --> 01:14:14,767 You were scared! You were scared then, you're scared now! 1103 01:14:17,828 --> 01:14:19,470 You are the most lost woman- 1104 01:14:19,570 --> 01:14:21,658 - Lost?! - Yes, lost. You are so- 1105 01:14:22,291 --> 01:14:25,691 You are so lost, you don't even know what kind of eggs you like. 1106 01:14:27,005 --> 01:14:29,440 - Yes. Yes! - What? 1107 01:14:29,540 --> 01:14:32,133 That's right. With the priest, you wanted scrambled. 1108 01:14:32,233 --> 01:14:33,593 With the Dead Head, it was fried. 1109 01:14:33,929 --> 01:14:35,689 With the bug guy, it was poached. 1110 01:14:36,599 --> 01:14:38,999 Now it's like, "Oh, egg whites only. Thank you very much. " 1111 01:14:40,603 --> 01:14:42,363 That is called changing your mind. 1112 01:14:43,523 --> 01:14:46,170 No, that's called not having a mind of your own. 1113 01:14:46,270 --> 01:14:48,210 Maggie, what are you doing?! 1114 01:14:48,310 --> 01:14:50,645 You really want that guy up there to drag you... 1115 01:14:50,745 --> 01:14:53,605 up Annapurna for your honeymoon? 1116 01:14:53,784 --> 01:14:56,344 You do not want to climb Annapurna! 1117 01:14:56,496 --> 01:14:58,176 Yes, I do! 1118 01:15:03,295 --> 01:15:05,135 No, you don't. 1119 01:15:06,131 --> 01:15:08,611 You want a man who'll lead you down the beach... 1120 01:15:10,970 --> 01:15:13,279 with his hand over your eyes... 1121 01:15:13,379 --> 01:15:16,827 just so you can discover the feel of the sand under your feet. 1122 01:15:18,186 --> 01:15:22,066 You want a guy that'll wake you up at dawn. 1123 01:15:23,775 --> 01:15:27,775 He's just bursting to talk to you. Can't wait another minute... 1124 01:15:27,988 --> 01:15:31,028 just to find out what you'll say. 1125 01:15:34,996 --> 01:15:37,196 Am I right? 1126 01:15:42,421 --> 01:15:44,021 Stop it. 1127 01:15:46,467 --> 01:15:49,587 I am getting married on Sunday. 1128 01:15:50,722 --> 01:15:55,002 And you are just trying to make me run. 1129 01:15:55,227 --> 01:15:58,347 Because you're a cynical, exploitive, 1130 01:16:00,065 --> 01:16:02,585 mean-hearted creep... 1131 01:16:02,943 --> 01:16:05,463 who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit. 1132 01:16:06,406 --> 01:16:08,766 All you do is... is tear others down, 1133 01:16:10,869 --> 01:16:13,349 and laugh at them and criticize what they do... 1134 01:16:14,414 --> 01:16:16,854 because you're too afraid to do anything yourself. 1135 01:16:19,545 --> 01:16:22,385 I read your columns. 1136 01:16:22,548 --> 01:16:26,588 You never once wrote anything about yourself. 1137 01:16:29,097 --> 01:16:32,257 I am not the only one that is lost. 1138 01:16:34,228 --> 01:16:36,348 And you know it. 1139 01:16:38,357 --> 01:16:40,557 Am I right? 1140 01:16:43,321 --> 01:16:45,521 Am I right? 1141 01:16:50,579 --> 01:16:51,579 Mag? 1142 01:16:51,988 --> 01:16:53,596 Hey! Help me out here. 1143 01:16:54,417 --> 01:16:56,937 Green Bay right guard. 1144 01:16:57,086 --> 01:16:59,326 Uh, you know, Bart Starr, uh- 1145 01:17:01,883 --> 01:17:04,603 - You okay? - Yes. 1146 01:17:09,558 --> 01:17:12,718 - I'll take you inside. Okay? - Uh-huh. 1147 01:17:12,895 --> 01:17:13,895 Okay. 1148 01:17:17,192 --> 01:17:18,542 Jerry Kramer. 1149 01:17:18,642 --> 01:17:21,210 Jerry Kramer! I started on the Ice Bowl story. 1150 01:17:29,038 --> 01:17:30,472 Hey, Grandma. 1151 01:17:30,572 --> 01:17:33,267 - What's for lunch? - Turkey and cheese. 1152 01:17:33,367 --> 01:17:34,893 Honey, your grandmother and I... 1153 01:17:34,993 --> 01:17:38,201 are thinking about having a wedding gift museum. 1154 01:17:39,216 --> 01:17:41,976 - Stop. - What? 1155 01:17:42,219 --> 01:17:45,299 Stop. Don't say another word like that. 1156 01:17:45,473 --> 01:17:46,993 - Maggie, it was just a joke. - No! 1157 01:17:47,225 --> 01:17:50,505 It's humiliating, and it's gone on long enough. 1158 01:17:51,229 --> 01:17:55,109 You may not like that you have a daughter with problems. 1159 01:17:55,317 --> 01:17:57,717 But guess what? 1160 01:17:58,278 --> 01:18:00,878 I don't like that I have a father who's drunk all the time. 1161 01:18:04,202 --> 01:18:06,522 I'll eat in my room. 1162 01:18:10,500 --> 01:18:13,460 Tell me why Maggie's having another rehearsal, 1163 01:18:13,629 --> 01:18:15,356 and two days before the wedding. 1164 01:18:15,456 --> 01:18:16,606 She's already done this. 1165 01:18:16,706 --> 01:18:19,194 Well, Bob insisted she visualize the ceremony. 1166 01:18:19,969 --> 01:18:22,129 Okay, we're ready. You want me to have Ike leave now? 1167 01:18:24,265 --> 01:18:27,465 Actually, let's make Ike the pastor. 1168 01:18:27,644 --> 01:18:29,078 Uh, I'd rather not. 1169 01:18:29,178 --> 01:18:31,626 No, it'll give you a great view. I think it's perfect. 1170 01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:33,094 - Hey. - Okay. 1171 01:18:34,860 --> 01:18:36,540 Team effort, Pastor Ike. 1172 01:18:38,448 --> 01:18:40,848 - He's gonna be the pastor?. - Yes. Yes. 1173 01:18:40,992 --> 01:18:45,352 Because I want him front and center so he can just see everything. 1174 01:18:46,373 --> 01:18:49,100 - Right up there. That's it. - Okay. 1175 01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:50,791 - Cindy, foyer. - Okay. 1176 01:18:55,508 --> 01:18:56,708 Ready? 1177 01:18:57,208 --> 01:18:59,536 What happened at the luau? 1178 01:19:00,096 --> 01:19:03,656 I- I don't- I don't wanna talk about the luau, okay? 1179 01:19:05,561 --> 01:19:08,641 - What is this? - It's for the bell. 1180 01:19:08,814 --> 01:19:11,040 - Bob's in a hurry. - Oh. 1181 01:19:11,140 --> 01:19:13,100 - Girls! - Okay, Maggie, remember what Bob said. 1182 01:19:14,779 --> 01:19:17,186 Let us visualize. Be the ball. Sink the putt. 1183 01:19:17,286 --> 01:19:18,967 - Make the shot. - Nothing but net. 1184 01:19:19,067 --> 01:19:20,747 - Never say die. - Move your butts. 1185 01:19:21,578 --> 01:19:24,218 - Girls, where are you? - On our way, Coach. 1186 01:19:28,419 --> 01:19:31,059 The bell. Ooh. 1187 01:19:44,770 --> 01:19:46,204 What's she doing? 1188 01:19:46,304 --> 01:19:48,912 She's being the bell instead of the ball. 1189 01:19:50,902 --> 01:19:53,902 Sanctuary. Sanctuary. 1190 01:19:55,574 --> 01:19:58,214 Mags, you okay? 1191 01:20:01,831 --> 01:20:03,231 Anyway- 1192 01:20:23,521 --> 01:20:26,161 At this pace, this could become an evening wedding. 1193 01:20:26,775 --> 01:20:29,415 Okay, okay. You know something? It's great. 1194 01:20:29,736 --> 01:20:33,536 I think we're taking this a little too fast. You're tensing. You feel it? 1195 01:20:34,575 --> 01:20:35,575 Right? 1196 01:20:35,674 --> 01:20:38,684 We just need to limber you up for a second. Ike, come here. 1197 01:20:39,664 --> 01:20:42,704 You're me. Stand here so she knows how far she's gotta come. 1198 01:20:42,876 --> 01:20:44,836 Honey, I'm gonna walk with you. Okay? 1199 01:20:46,171 --> 01:20:49,131 Now he's the groom? 1200 01:20:49,300 --> 01:20:51,907 Just relax. Limber, visualize. 1201 01:20:52,007 --> 01:20:54,077 Visualize. Relax. Limber. 1202 01:21:00,937 --> 01:21:04,417 You are the football, spiraling through the air... 1203 01:21:05,025 --> 01:21:07,465 into the waiting hands of the groom. 1204 01:21:07,611 --> 01:21:08,851 I'm spiraling through the air. 1205 01:21:11,199 --> 01:21:12,399 Right. 1206 01:21:12,950 --> 01:21:14,350 I am... 1207 01:21:15,996 --> 01:21:18,396 streaking... 1208 01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:21,300 toward the... goal line. 1209 01:21:28,885 --> 01:21:31,725 Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact. 1210 01:21:31,888 --> 01:21:33,488 And I land on the goal line. 1211 01:21:33,932 --> 01:21:36,132 Good. Good. 1212 01:21:36,300 --> 01:21:38,988 Okay, I'm the pastor and I say, "Dearly beloved, 1213 01:21:39,688 --> 01:21:41,674 "we're gathered here, blah, blah, blah, blah, 1214 01:21:41,774 --> 01:21:43,734 "so on and so forth, rat-a-tat-tat, yabba-dabba. 1215 01:21:44,026 --> 01:21:46,419 I now pronounce you man and wife. " 1216 01:21:46,519 --> 01:21:49,096 Kiss the bride. We have the organ crescendo. 1217 01:21:49,196 --> 01:21:51,771 That just leads us right on down the aisle. 1218 01:21:51,952 --> 01:21:54,632 And we are man and- 1219 01:22:10,555 --> 01:22:11,555 No! 1220 01:22:13,058 --> 01:22:14,458 Maggie? 1221 01:22:15,595 --> 01:22:17,195 Uh, Mag- 1222 01:22:22,861 --> 01:22:24,586 Okay, okay, okay. 1223 01:22:24,686 --> 01:22:27,894 So if you were imagining me, y- you did great. 1224 01:22:28,075 --> 01:22:29,508 What the hell were you doing? 1225 01:22:29,608 --> 01:22:32,296 Bob, I'm really sorry. She... kissed me back. 1226 01:22:33,748 --> 01:22:36,315 - I kissed you back? - Yes, you did. You kissed me back. 1227 01:22:36,415 --> 01:22:38,363 Yeah, caught that. 1228 01:22:38,503 --> 01:22:41,423 You wanna tell me how long this has been going on? 1229 01:22:41,589 --> 01:22:45,109 - About a minute. - Longer for me. 1230 01:22:45,636 --> 01:22:47,036 Really? 1231 01:22:47,461 --> 01:22:50,229 What do you expect me to say to this? 1232 01:22:50,391 --> 01:22:52,831 - Hello. - Well, Bob, you could say, 1233 01:22:53,728 --> 01:22:56,528 "Well, I hope you two will be really happy together. " 1234 01:22:59,276 --> 01:23:02,276 I hope you two will be really happy together. 1235 01:23:04,865 --> 01:23:06,785 Uh, take care of him. 1236 01:23:07,243 --> 01:23:10,003 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1237 01:23:12,957 --> 01:23:14,757 Bob! Bob! 1238 01:23:16,378 --> 01:23:18,898 Bob, I'm sorry. I-I'm- 1239 01:23:19,381 --> 01:23:23,181 At least this time I backed out before the wedding. That's progress. 1240 01:23:23,969 --> 01:23:25,570 You are gonna find some woman... 1241 01:23:25,670 --> 01:23:29,038 who can make you so much happier than I ever could. 1242 01:23:29,559 --> 01:23:32,439 - Look out. - Ooh! See? 1243 01:23:32,604 --> 01:23:34,371 See? It's happening already. 1244 01:23:34,471 --> 01:23:36,719 - She's good with needy men. - Yeah. 1245 01:23:37,693 --> 01:23:39,173 Uh, yeah. 1246 01:23:39,612 --> 01:23:41,572 - Well, um... why don't you... - Yeah. 1247 01:23:43,950 --> 01:23:45,470 - just call me later?. - Okay. 1248 01:23:46,536 --> 01:23:48,896 Bob, this may not be a good time, but here's my number. 1249 01:23:51,875 --> 01:23:54,155 Drive safely, Bob. 1250 01:23:55,879 --> 01:23:59,159 Kid wants to lock up, go home. 1251 01:24:00,801 --> 01:24:02,801 How's Bob? 1252 01:24:03,638 --> 01:24:04,638 Okay. 1253 01:24:07,100 --> 01:24:09,860 So, what just happened just now? 1254 01:24:10,062 --> 01:24:12,742 - Then... in there? - I don't know. I, I, I- 1255 01:24:13,440 --> 01:24:15,800 Frankly, I don't even want to talk about it. 1256 01:24:17,737 --> 01:24:19,937 Me neither. 1257 01:24:24,494 --> 01:24:26,845 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 1258 01:24:26,945 --> 01:24:29,633 - No, no, no. No, wait. Stop. - Mmm? Mmm? 1259 01:24:31,085 --> 01:24:33,045 No, no, no, no. We gotta- We have to talk. 1260 01:24:33,921 --> 01:24:36,841 We have to talk. We have to do some talking now, all right? 1261 01:24:37,800 --> 01:24:41,080 Just-Come over here. Pull up a- 1262 01:24:41,263 --> 01:24:43,103 - Pull up a rail. - I was enjoying the- Okay. 1263 01:24:44,224 --> 01:24:46,704 All right. Just give me a little space here. 1264 01:24:49,104 --> 01:24:50,104 Okay. 1265 01:24:52,191 --> 01:24:54,151 All right. 1266 01:24:58,073 --> 01:25:00,593 Do you think may- 1267 01:25:04,163 --> 01:25:06,963 Well, you do have a dress. 1268 01:25:07,708 --> 01:25:10,060 And the church. 1269 01:25:10,160 --> 01:25:12,488 And the wedding date. 1270 01:25:13,715 --> 01:25:16,402 And there's the two of us. 1271 01:25:16,502 --> 01:25:17,702 Maybe- 1272 01:25:21,932 --> 01:25:25,452 You do have to go down the aisle with somebody... 1273 01:25:26,604 --> 01:25:29,044 that you love, 1274 01:25:29,232 --> 01:25:31,032 - and who loves you back. - Who? 1275 01:25:51,006 --> 01:25:53,446 I'm okay with that. 1276 01:25:55,928 --> 01:25:57,528 So am I. 1277 01:26:06,439 --> 01:26:08,879 I'm getting married. 1278 01:26:19,537 --> 01:26:20,929 Do you do this often? 1279 01:26:21,029 --> 01:26:24,157 Well, there's not a lot to do around here. 1280 01:26:24,334 --> 01:26:26,734 I just believe he's listening to you. 1281 01:26:27,504 --> 01:26:30,304 His hair, any color. 1282 01:26:30,466 --> 01:26:32,746 I like his tight butt. 1283 01:26:34,011 --> 01:26:36,071 - Grandma. - Well, I do. 1284 01:26:36,171 --> 01:26:38,819 I'll see you at the wedding. Right? You're gonna be there, huh? 1285 01:26:39,267 --> 01:26:41,507 - Thirty-seven hours. - I didn't miss the first one. 1286 01:26:43,105 --> 01:26:46,345 We're gonna spend part of the time here in town 'cause he wants to write a book. 1287 01:26:46,567 --> 01:26:48,751 You always wanted to write a novel. 1288 01:26:48,851 --> 01:26:52,579 I feel inspired here. I feel like I can write. I wanna write. 1289 01:26:52,782 --> 01:26:55,502 Ike is getting married. 1290 01:26:58,413 --> 01:27:01,013 Fisher, if you pee on that Persian, I'm gonna kill you. 1291 01:27:01,166 --> 01:27:03,686 Hi. It's him. He's on the phone. 1292 01:27:08,883 --> 01:27:11,163 - Hi. - Hi. 1293 01:27:12,512 --> 01:27:14,992 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 1294 01:27:15,515 --> 01:27:16,949 Pick that up. 1295 01:27:17,049 --> 01:27:19,368 - What are you doing? - It's all right. 1296 01:27:19,468 --> 01:27:21,428 - Nothing. - Wow. I see the most beautiful girl. 1297 01:27:23,941 --> 01:27:26,221 He can see me. 1298 01:27:27,028 --> 01:27:28,828 Bet's up! 1299 01:27:29,489 --> 01:27:31,910 Aah! Double jack! 1300 01:27:32,010 --> 01:27:34,632 You were trying to cheat! It doesn't work. 1301 01:27:41,878 --> 01:27:44,125 Ah! Oh, my God. 1302 01:27:44,225 --> 01:27:46,438 I'm the winner! 1303 01:27:47,342 --> 01:27:49,622 Now, this is a mature relationship. 1304 01:28:16,999 --> 01:28:19,309 Wedding bells are ringing today in Hale, Maryland. 1305 01:28:19,409 --> 01:28:22,337 Maggie Carpenter, always a bride, never a bridesmaid, is attempting... 1306 01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:25,691 to complete her fourth wedding ceremony. 1307 01:28:25,791 --> 01:28:28,759 We'll be back when results are in. Back to you, Jessica. 1308 01:28:28,929 --> 01:28:31,137 The turnout for this morning's ceremony is... 1309 01:28:31,237 --> 01:28:33,074 usually saved for royalty or movie stars, 1310 01:28:33,174 --> 01:28:35,902 but Maggie Carpenter is Hale, Maryland's very own star. 1311 01:28:36,062 --> 01:28:38,749 T- shirts here. I got, "Bye, Bye, Bride-ee. " 1312 01:28:38,849 --> 01:28:41,003 I got, "What Part of 1313 01:28:41,151 --> 01:28:43,368 Get your "Runaway Bride" T- shirts here. 1314 01:28:43,468 --> 01:28:45,421 Will she or won't she? 1315 01:28:45,521 --> 01:28:47,958 That is on the minds of several hundred folks standing here, 1316 01:28:48,058 --> 01:28:51,900 not to mention on the mind of groom number four, who is missing in action. 1317 01:28:52,121 --> 01:28:55,041 - He's gonna stand me up. - Of course he's gonna come, 1318 01:28:55,208 --> 01:28:58,728 because today I saw... eight geese flying in a "V." 1319 01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:01,487 You with the lucky geese! You always see geese! 1320 01:29:01,587 --> 01:29:02,587 Not eight! 1321 01:29:02,686 --> 01:29:04,136 - And in "V." - Eight is better?. 1322 01:29:05,302 --> 01:29:07,702 - Eight in a "V." Can you imagine? - "V." "V" for, uh- 1323 01:29:09,182 --> 01:29:11,662 - Victory? Victory! - Great! 1324 01:29:12,310 --> 01:29:15,030 - And... velcro? - Okay. 1325 01:29:15,188 --> 01:29:16,707 Velcro! Stick together! 1326 01:29:16,807 --> 01:29:18,293 - Virginal! - No, no. 1327 01:29:21,654 --> 01:29:23,534 I- I'm sweaty. I'm nervous. Where are my bags? 1328 01:29:24,407 --> 01:29:26,758 - Okay. No. - No bags! Bags are for later. 1329 01:29:26,858 --> 01:29:30,466 - Rub your ears. - Rub your ears. That's a great idea. 1330 01:29:30,664 --> 01:29:33,504 That's a very good idea. Rub your ears. Cory does that to me sometime. 1331 01:29:34,459 --> 01:29:36,979 - A little "ooo," and you just "whoo. " - We do it to the dog. 1332 01:29:39,465 --> 01:29:41,744 Get your "I Don't Think She Will" shirt. 1333 01:29:41,844 --> 01:29:43,483 These shirts are not sold in stores. 1334 01:29:47,432 --> 01:29:50,392 - Here comes Ike Graham! - Showtime. 1335 01:29:53,230 --> 01:29:56,150 That's better. It's pretty nice, actually. 1336 01:29:56,317 --> 01:29:58,077 - Yeah, it's nice. - He's here! 1337 01:29:58,986 --> 01:30:00,386 Oh, the ear! Ahh! I see him! 1338 01:30:02,532 --> 01:30:05,052 Ike Graham has arrived at the church. 1339 01:30:06,870 --> 01:30:09,414 - Is this your first marriage? - Is this your last marriage? 1340 01:30:09,514 --> 01:30:11,585 Any little Grahams in the future? 1341 01:30:11,685 --> 01:30:13,184 Oh, he gets whacked! 1342 01:30:13,284 --> 01:30:15,164 - All right, okay. - This is such a good sign. 1343 01:30:15,880 --> 01:30:17,320 All right! Okay! 1344 01:30:17,674 --> 01:30:20,314 Get this- Who makes this stuff? 1345 01:30:20,468 --> 01:30:22,348 - The veil is not attacking you. - Okay, okay. 1346 01:30:24,389 --> 01:30:27,149 - Now is the time to calm down. - Yes, okay. 1347 01:30:28,936 --> 01:30:32,856 'Cause if you don't get calm, we won't get your dress on. 1348 01:30:33,858 --> 01:30:36,898 A girl can't get married in flannel. 1349 01:30:37,654 --> 01:30:39,934 He's the one. He really is the one. 1350 01:30:42,242 --> 01:30:44,093 You're not invited. 1351 01:30:44,193 --> 01:30:45,673 Go back to New York. Get outta here. 1352 01:30:47,581 --> 01:30:50,181 He's the one! 1353 01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:54,647 We gotta hurry 'cause the Sunday school kids are coming. 1354 01:30:54,747 --> 01:30:56,822 - Mrs. Pressman. - There's no microphone. 1355 01:30:57,008 --> 01:30:59,208 - Please put it there. No, no fun. - You're no fun. 1356 01:31:00,387 --> 01:31:02,363 I was gonna do this Scorsese thing- 1357 01:31:02,463 --> 01:31:04,991 - Whatever. Just do it. Shoot, shoot. - Ike. 1358 01:31:05,518 --> 01:31:08,278 Friends! Oh, God! 1359 01:31:09,480 --> 01:31:11,840 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1360 01:31:12,192 --> 01:31:14,952 - Thank you. We are friends, aren't we? - Of course we are. 1361 01:31:15,946 --> 01:31:18,506 - You'll be my best man. - Good, but I'm not sure I'm the best. 1362 01:31:19,450 --> 01:31:22,097 Go see the pastor. He'll tell you what to do. 1363 01:31:22,197 --> 01:31:23,197 All right. 1364 01:31:23,296 --> 01:31:25,460 If someone will tell me what to do. 1365 01:31:25,623 --> 01:31:28,263 Mmm. You always looked great in that suit. 1366 01:31:28,877 --> 01:31:30,477 And, Ike? 1367 01:31:30,577 --> 01:31:33,225 I'm happy for you, honey. 1368 01:31:34,216 --> 01:31:36,816 I have a car out back for you in case she decides to run. 1369 01:31:38,220 --> 01:31:40,900 I have an invitation. Lou! He's with me. 1370 01:31:45,854 --> 01:31:48,461 You look terrible. 1371 01:31:48,561 --> 01:31:49,791 Thanks. 1372 01:31:51,068 --> 01:31:52,068 Here. 1373 01:31:53,352 --> 01:31:56,640 - Ike, I'm glad it's you. - Really? 1374 01:31:56,824 --> 01:31:58,967 I wouldn't want to have found out... 1375 01:31:59,067 --> 01:32:02,195 I wasn't the one for her in the fourth quarter. 1376 01:32:03,999 --> 01:32:06,679 Well, Coach, any final advice? 1377 01:32:09,713 --> 01:32:12,000 Maintain eye contact. 1378 01:32:12,100 --> 01:32:13,775 Eye contact. 1379 01:32:13,875 --> 01:32:15,603 Eye contact. Eye contact. Eye contact. 1380 01:32:31,445 --> 01:32:34,365 What have you got going on here? 1381 01:32:34,532 --> 01:32:36,329 You wanna look just special for the wedding. 1382 01:32:36,429 --> 01:32:39,922 You should thank me and Lou for lending you the wedding car. '63 Buick. 1383 01:32:40,122 --> 01:32:41,122 Thank you, Mrs. Trout. 1384 01:32:41,221 --> 01:32:43,958 What are you saying? We're practically family. 1385 01:32:44,126 --> 01:32:47,486 - How's that there? - My name is Fisher. What's yours? 1386 01:32:47,672 --> 01:32:49,952 Nice. Betty. That doesn't want to come out, does it? 1387 01:32:51,467 --> 01:32:53,664 - You just pulled a hair from my neck. - There we are. 1388 01:32:53,764 --> 01:32:56,635 - Mrs. Trout, please. This is my wedding. - Yes. 1389 01:32:56,807 --> 01:32:58,487 Sit down. Thank you. We're starting soon. 1390 01:32:58,851 --> 01:33:00,993 - Who was that? - Mrs. Trout. 1391 01:33:01,093 --> 01:33:03,661 - He doesn't have a- - Don't do- Don't. 1392 01:33:03,939 --> 01:33:06,565 I just want that to be able to- Fold it in the pocket. 1393 01:33:06,665 --> 01:33:08,931 - Right in the pocket. - Please! Just go- 1394 01:33:11,156 --> 01:33:14,156 - Good luck, sweet girl. - Oh, thank you, grandma. I love you. 1395 01:33:15,327 --> 01:33:18,047 - I'm really rooting for this one. - Okay, Dad. 1396 01:33:19,874 --> 01:33:21,099 The place is packed... 1397 01:33:21,199 --> 01:33:23,510 with the whole town of Hale on the bride's side, 1398 01:33:23,610 --> 01:33:25,919 and with many New Yorkers on the groom's side. 1399 01:33:28,466 --> 01:33:31,226 - Is this taken? - No. 1400 01:33:32,387 --> 01:33:34,030 I'm Elaine from Manhattan. 1401 01:33:34,130 --> 01:33:36,498 - I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt. - I'm sorry. 1402 01:33:36,809 --> 01:33:38,969 That's okay. There's a lid for every pot. 1403 01:33:40,271 --> 01:33:43,231 And I'm comfortable with Ike. 1404 01:33:43,942 --> 01:33:46,622 It's like Jack Dempsey lost his heavyweight title to a New Yorker. 1405 01:33:48,780 --> 01:33:51,460 Right. Gene Tunney. 1406 01:33:54,161 --> 01:33:55,161 Spit! 1407 01:33:56,789 --> 01:33:58,589 Let's go. 1408 01:34:00,251 --> 01:34:02,611 Uh, okay. No sauntering down the aisle. I don't like that. 1409 01:34:04,548 --> 01:34:06,948 - Make time. Just get there. Just go. - Fine. 1410 01:34:20,524 --> 01:34:23,244 All rise, please. 1411 01:34:39,795 --> 01:34:41,729 The bride is walking down the aisle. 1412 01:34:41,829 --> 01:34:44,437 Maggie Carpenter is walking down the aisle. 1413 01:34:50,014 --> 01:34:53,214 - Oh, she's pausing. - Stay with me. 1414 01:34:53,393 --> 01:34:54,633 Keep eye contact. 1415 01:35:06,324 --> 01:35:08,724 Please be seated. Thank you. 1416 01:35:10,579 --> 01:35:13,059 I sneaked in a camera. 1417 01:35:13,206 --> 01:35:15,086 We are gathered here today- 1418 01:35:15,876 --> 01:35:17,935 Please, no cameras. 1419 01:35:18,035 --> 01:35:20,690 Could we hold off photos until the end of the ceremony? 1420 01:35:20,790 --> 01:35:22,790 Thank you. 1421 01:35:23,593 --> 01:35:24,593 No. 1422 01:35:25,252 --> 01:35:27,180 - Where is she going? - Don't. 1423 01:35:28,682 --> 01:35:30,242 - Maggie! - Block the doors! 1424 01:35:34,438 --> 01:35:36,958 No, Maggie, don't! 1425 01:35:43,114 --> 01:35:45,514 Oh, never a dull moment at a Maggie wedding. 1426 01:35:45,826 --> 01:35:48,185 There's a man coming with lots of candy in his pocket. 1427 01:35:48,285 --> 01:35:51,325 If you tickle him, he'll give you all his candy. Here you go, little queen. 1428 01:35:52,208 --> 01:35:54,448 - Maggie! - Just tickle him. 1429 01:35:54,794 --> 01:35:57,154 - Give us some candy! - Whoa. No, not me. 1430 01:35:58,882 --> 01:36:01,609 Get the naughty bride. The naughty bride. 1431 01:36:01,709 --> 01:36:04,143 No, no. It's an Armani suit. 1432 01:36:07,307 --> 01:36:08,307 Wait! 1433 01:36:11,896 --> 01:36:14,296 - Wait! - Maggie! 1434 01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:16,800 Go. Go. Go, go. 1435 01:36:18,904 --> 01:36:21,544 Maggie! Maggie! 1436 01:36:22,699 --> 01:36:24,979 Don't do it! Don't! 1437 01:36:26,287 --> 01:36:27,287 Maggie! 1438 01:36:27,386 --> 01:36:30,449 - He's running after her. - He's in pretty good shape, too. 1439 01:36:31,042 --> 01:36:33,682 Maggie! No, Maggie! 1440 01:36:34,295 --> 01:36:36,104 Where do you think she's going? 1441 01:36:36,204 --> 01:36:38,892 Wherever it is, she'll be there by 10:30 tomorrow. 1442 01:36:40,552 --> 01:36:42,752 Maggie! No! 1443 01:36:49,020 --> 01:36:50,420 Maggie! 1444 01:36:51,281 --> 01:36:52,681 No! No! 1445 01:36:53,567 --> 01:36:54,967 Maggie! 1446 01:37:01,784 --> 01:37:04,064 Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham! 1447 01:37:10,085 --> 01:37:12,765 - Mr. Graham, what is your next move? - How do you feel right now? 1448 01:37:13,213 --> 01:37:15,773 - What will you do? - I know you must feel terrible. 1449 01:37:18,469 --> 01:37:20,389 - Mr. Graham, talk to us. - That's enough. 1450 01:37:21,097 --> 01:37:23,737 Come on. Leave him alone. 1451 01:37:30,899 --> 01:37:33,339 "Hardware Honey Goes Nuts and Bolts. " 1452 01:37:33,485 --> 01:37:35,445 How many times is she gonna do this? 1453 01:37:44,748 --> 01:37:46,932 And finally, in local news, 1454 01:37:47,032 --> 01:37:49,912 the mayor has requested that we all stop gossiping about last week's... 1455 01:37:50,296 --> 01:37:52,976 Maggie Carpenter "almost wedding. " 1456 01:37:53,132 --> 01:37:56,052 This is Cory Flemming for W-HALE saying... 1457 01:37:56,219 --> 01:37:58,979 may the Good Lord make you smart enough to live in a small town. 1458 01:37:59,139 --> 01:38:01,339 And we cut. 1459 01:38:01,808 --> 01:38:04,568 Camera loves you. 1460 01:38:05,521 --> 01:38:08,241 - Hey, you okay? - Yeah. 1461 01:38:08,858 --> 01:38:11,545 I'm closing. You wanna go to Butch's for a drink? 1462 01:38:11,645 --> 01:38:13,799 Uh, you know, I'm gonna finish up here, 1463 01:38:14,364 --> 01:38:16,684 and then I think I'll just head home. 1464 01:38:16,950 --> 01:38:17,950 Okay. 1465 01:38:19,995 --> 01:38:21,795 You know, 1466 01:38:22,956 --> 01:38:24,636 I was thinking about that "V" thing. 1467 01:38:25,668 --> 01:38:28,628 And I think the "V" in the geese... 1468 01:38:28,796 --> 01:38:31,436 was half of a "W" for- 1469 01:38:34,010 --> 01:38:35,450 For, uh- 1470 01:38:37,305 --> 01:38:39,985 - W-W-what are you talking about? - Wedding. Wedding. 1471 01:38:40,726 --> 01:38:43,446 You just gotta get the rest of your ducks in a row. 1472 01:38:45,314 --> 01:38:47,314 Thank you. 1473 01:38:51,154 --> 01:38:54,114 - So, you still think that he- - You're quick. 1474 01:38:54,282 --> 01:38:55,722 You're very quick. 1475 01:40:30,722 --> 01:40:33,522 Okay, here we go. 1476 01:40:44,403 --> 01:40:47,683 - Ike, how's it going? - Hey, Marvin. 1477 01:40:47,866 --> 01:40:50,106 That good, huh? 1478 01:41:27,534 --> 01:41:28,843 Hi, it's me. 1479 01:41:28,943 --> 01:41:30,511 Leave a message after the beep. 1480 01:41:40,006 --> 01:41:42,206 Hello, Ike. 1481 01:41:51,102 --> 01:41:55,422 Don't tell me my doorman is one of your many admirers. 1482 01:41:57,484 --> 01:42:00,364 I'm making friends with your cat. 1483 01:42:02,072 --> 01:42:03,881 Is it okay that I'm here? 1484 01:42:03,981 --> 01:42:06,549 I don't have much choice in the matter, do I? 1485 01:42:07,328 --> 01:42:10,408 But, I can't speak for Italics. Traitor. 1486 01:42:12,584 --> 01:42:15,184 I don't blame you for being mad. 1487 01:42:15,337 --> 01:42:17,177 Or furious. 1488 01:42:17,964 --> 01:42:20,444 Irate? Livid. 1489 01:42:22,553 --> 01:42:24,663 What is it, Maggie? 1490 01:42:24,763 --> 01:42:26,840 You here on business? 1491 01:42:27,099 --> 01:42:29,765 By the way, I saw your lamps. 1492 01:42:29,865 --> 01:42:31,692 They're terrific. Yeah, really. 1493 01:42:32,606 --> 01:42:35,926 It's something I've always wanted to- 1494 01:42:36,485 --> 01:42:40,605 You could make breaking and entering into a new career. 1495 01:42:43,701 --> 01:42:46,461 So, what are you doing here anyway? 1496 01:42:49,124 --> 01:42:51,684 I wanted to talk to you... 1497 01:42:52,836 --> 01:42:55,836 about why I run, 1498 01:42:57,967 --> 01:43:01,247 sometimes ride, away from things. 1499 01:43:04,098 --> 01:43:06,698 - Does it matter?. - I think so. 1500 01:43:09,354 --> 01:43:14,114 When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody... 1501 01:43:14,360 --> 01:43:18,440 who had no idea who I really was. 1502 01:43:20,074 --> 01:43:22,034 And it was only half the other person's fault... 1503 01:43:24,871 --> 01:43:26,831 because I had done everything to convince him... 1504 01:43:29,835 --> 01:43:31,195 that I was exactly what he wanted. 1505 01:43:32,588 --> 01:43:35,023 So, it was good... 1506 01:43:35,123 --> 01:43:37,723 that I didn't go through with it because it would've been a lie. 1507 01:43:40,305 --> 01:43:41,905 But you- 1508 01:43:43,934 --> 01:43:46,494 You knew the real me. 1509 01:43:48,689 --> 01:43:50,849 Yes, I did. 1510 01:43:51,234 --> 01:43:53,034 I didn't. 1511 01:43:54,445 --> 01:43:58,285 Still, I ended up chasing a truck. 1512 01:44:12,465 --> 01:44:16,185 I can't, um, do anything about the truck. 1513 01:44:18,263 --> 01:44:19,863 But, uh- 1514 01:44:24,603 --> 01:44:27,563 - Benedict. - Arnold. 1515 01:44:27,732 --> 01:44:30,332 I love eggs Benedict. 1516 01:44:30,443 --> 01:44:33,083 I hate all the other kinds of eggs. 1517 01:44:33,238 --> 01:44:36,318 I hate big weddings, everybody staring. 1518 01:44:37,367 --> 01:44:40,767 I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. 1519 01:44:40,955 --> 01:44:43,515 And if I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse. 1520 01:44:44,459 --> 01:44:47,026 - Should I be writing this down? - And there's something else. 1521 01:44:47,126 --> 01:44:49,377 No, you can tell me. Don't- 1522 01:44:49,477 --> 01:44:50,477 Okay. 1523 01:44:56,138 --> 01:44:58,778 These are for you. 1524 01:45:03,938 --> 01:45:06,378 - Used- - Well, they're mine. 1525 01:45:07,275 --> 01:45:10,235 I'm turning in my running shoes to you. 1526 01:45:15,201 --> 01:45:16,801 This is serious. 1527 01:45:16,901 --> 01:45:18,678 And there's one more thing. 1528 01:45:18,778 --> 01:45:21,546 I know, the mind reels that there could be more after this. 1529 01:45:21,708 --> 01:45:24,068 But, um, if you could just have a seat. 1530 01:45:29,592 --> 01:45:32,392 Let's just not have that there. 1531 01:45:32,553 --> 01:45:33,793 Okay. Okay. 1532 01:45:40,103 --> 01:45:43,743 - Oh, no. My, God, no. - No, no. Don't hide your face. 1533 01:45:43,941 --> 01:45:46,981 This happens once in a lifetime, and it's definitely a first for me. 1534 01:45:47,152 --> 01:45:49,472 You're not gonna want to miss it, so pay close attention. 1535 01:45:56,579 --> 01:46:00,899 I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham. 1536 01:46:03,754 --> 01:46:06,594 Will you marry me? 1537 01:46:18,770 --> 01:46:20,663 I gotta think about this a little bit. 1538 01:46:20,763 --> 01:46:23,443 - Good. I was hoping you would say that. - You were not! Not true. 1539 01:46:23,567 --> 01:46:26,047 If you'd said yes, I wouldn't be able to do this next part... 1540 01:46:26,446 --> 01:46:28,726 and I've been practicing so let me- 1541 01:46:31,117 --> 01:46:32,117 Okay. 1542 01:46:33,453 --> 01:46:36,013 - Ready? - I'm listening. 1543 01:46:43,589 --> 01:46:47,509 I guarantee that we'll have tough times. 1544 01:46:48,553 --> 01:46:51,673 And I guarantee that at some point... 1545 01:46:51,848 --> 01:46:54,968 one or both of us will want to get out. 1546 01:46:56,520 --> 01:46:59,160 But I also guarantee... 1547 01:46:59,690 --> 01:47:01,490 that if I don't ask you to be mine, 1548 01:47:03,278 --> 01:47:05,798 I'll regret it for the rest of my life. 1549 01:47:06,907 --> 01:47:09,467 'Cause I know in my heart... 1550 01:47:10,285 --> 01:47:12,765 you're the only one for me. 1551 01:47:20,213 --> 01:47:22,253 That's a pretty good speech, Maggie. 1552 01:47:22,924 --> 01:47:26,004 I borrowed it from this writer I know. 1553 01:47:28,555 --> 01:47:29,555 So? 1554 01:47:58,547 --> 01:48:00,947 Dance with me. 1555 01:48:23,449 --> 01:48:26,289 We are gathered here today to celebrate the union... 1556 01:48:26,452 --> 01:48:28,492 of Maggie Carpenter and Ike Graham. 1557 01:48:41,803 --> 01:48:44,483 - Do you have the rings? - Yes. 1558 01:48:44,639 --> 01:48:47,799 Do you, Ike, take Maggie to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1559 01:48:51,939 --> 01:48:52,939 I do. 1560 01:48:54,181 --> 01:48:58,309 Do you, Maggie, take Ike to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1561 01:48:58,529 --> 01:48:59,529 I do. 1562 01:49:00,021 --> 01:49:02,215 In this life that you share together, 1563 01:49:02,315 --> 01:49:04,115 may your individuality strengthen your love. 1564 01:49:07,831 --> 01:49:09,974 With the power vested in me, 1565 01:49:10,074 --> 01:49:12,482 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1566 01:49:16,382 --> 01:49:18,822 You may kiss the bride. 1567 01:49:47,375 --> 01:49:50,015 Guess what? She did it! 1568 01:49:50,503 --> 01:49:53,103 Maggie Carpenter got married. 1569 01:49:59,638 --> 01:50:03,638 Betty, she did it! She did it! 1570 01:50:04,305 --> 01:50:05,305